30.11.2004  Oh dear gawd... My fucking head... My runny bowels... I regret not having died yesterday! And all this pain from beer alone, and not that much of it either, IMHO. But here's what happened...   I met a couple of friends at Wenla, that Kontula watering-hole for destitute and delinquent that I (reluctantly and embarrassingly) happen to be a regular at, since it was our official "Pool Monday". Yeah, we play pool there every Monday since it's free then, if you have a regulars discount card. This time we played some pool, and sat down to talk trash and politics. With beer, of course. Apparently, though, at some point the drinking got a bit out of hand, especially since one friend of ours was continuously buying. We sure talked lots and loud... I was on the defensive, mostly, what with my stand on global issues, and my refusal to demonize the States and support Palestine. But I digress. In the end, we didn't even stay until midnight, I think. That is. we went home fairly early, although one must say that I originally planned to be home when my girlfriend arrived from work, i.e. around 22:00... I haven't been that pleasantly drunk in a long while.   As I parted company with my friends and left the bar, I discovered the growing pangs of drunken hunger. I ambled all over the Kontula mall, but failed to find a single open greasy hobo-food vendor... Thus foiled I went home. I don't remember my girlie's reaction to my drunken arrival, but I proceeded to play music and be silly, as I recall. I then made and singlehandedly consumed a package of Carbonara Pasta. And, eventually, went to bed, from which I was soon expelled, since I apparently smelled too bad for my love's refined and aristocratic sense of smell. I retreated to the couch, where I later awoke to a sensation not unlike being pounded on the head with frying pans, with something evil stirring in my bowels.   But by now I am sure you get the picture. I only just recuperated from the hangover, and am now planning a daring raid on the local McDonalds. Hey, what can I say, it's the best darn hangover food there is, with the exception of maybe pizza. But pizza is slow to make, so fuck pizza.   So that was my day, how was yours? I'll now once again dump some links, and be off to McDonalds. Here is a brainy article on the Origins of the Universe. It doesn't quite convince me. How about you, Mr. Z? And next, something most of you will be much more interested in, namely a few advises on how to maximize your orgasm potential! Once again, I'm not convinced. And, lastly, a piece of idiocy from la belle France. Sometimes they go a bit too far with the "lets stay French" business. They should rather address the growing problems with the ever-multiplying Muslim community. And talking of the Middle-East, Iran can now go ahead with its nuclear ambitions. Read all about it. But that's it, I'm off to feed my infidel arse.	Depressing. Stupid winter.
28.11.2004   Nice to be back, it is. No matter how nice it is to travel occasionally, it is always nice to go back home. This time is no exception, even though I've only been away for 2 nights.   The occasion that called for my departure for Imatra this time was a friends 25th birthday party. So off I run, hop onto a train, with minutes to spare, and there I am, looking forward for 3 hours of naps and reading. Yeah, right. The train was packed with people. I had to share a seat with somebody, and that ain't fun, it means that I can't go into a fetal position on my side and sleep. Shortly another problem materialized. It seems that I forgot to renew my student's card, and the person who sold me the ticket failed to notice, so I was charged for another 18,90 Eur by the conductor. My day was ruined. I also ruined it for the conductor. And for some passengers that sat near by. In the end, however, I did manage to get some shuteye.   After I got to Imatra, I was straight off for SuPP's house, and I didn't leave it until Sunday. The birthday party was a pretty ordinary affair, I think. About 20 Russians, one very bewildered Finnish girl (no idea what she was doing there or who brought her, nobody seemed to know her), and a lot of booze. Oh, and ecstasy and hash, too. Young people these days... I missed out on the first day (night I should say, since the revelries went on until 10am), since I was not in the mood, so I pretty much shut myself in the computer room and played Counter Strike, going to bed way before everybody, around 4am. The next day was characterized by some severe heartburn and general nausea, that I unsuccessfully tried to kill by a few shots of vodka. Instead, I nearly killed myself. That necessitated that I stayed in bed until around 9am, but I wasn't complaining, I had Paul Theroux and Counter Strike to keep me company. The second night of the party was nicer, with people somewhat more open, or then I just got over my ailments and was able to take part in the conversation. There was cake, candles, stuff like that... Nothing to it. Tame stuff compared to some of the Finnish parties.   Oh, there was one mishap. As one of the guests was coming from Helsinki by car, he had a slight accident and went off road, straight into a ditch... Failing to reach our hosts house by only about 20 meters. It was a minor thing, he didn't get hurt, just unpleasantly surprised. The car was left pretty much intact. We later pushed and pulled the car out of the ditch by ourselves, as the tow truck would have cost 100 Eur. And I then took the same car back to Helsinki, driven by the same driver. Better him than anyone else that was going back to Helsinki, though, as he was actually obeying the speed limit. I even slept on my way home.   And that about concludes it. Let me dump some links, and be off... I liked this "Spank the Monkey" game. It has nothing to do with masturbation, btw. I only got 239 MPH... More on gaming: check out this awesome case mod on the theme of "Half Life 2". The mouse looks a trifle uncomfortable, though. Not for anybody with dry skin like mine... And for the last, and totally unrelated link, here is how to be a pimp. Yeah. Oh, and here is a nice ad. Try saying it out loud!	Opel Calibra ditched. Birthday Cake... Desolation of Smaug.
26.11.2004   I have come to bid farewell. I am going away. Yes. Oh okay, don't fret, I'll be back on Sunday. My friend from up north, the bloke who sometimes leaves comments in Latinized Russian under the name of SuPP, is having his 25th birthday. That's up in the frozen little town of Imatra. I haven't been there since what, Summer? Hmm. Lemme check. Yeah, in July. BTW, SuPP, if you're reading this, skip the next few lines.   I bought the guy a nose-hair trimmer! Yeah, and you can trim ear-hair with it as well! Just the thing for someone who's been walking this earth for a quarter of a century, and is getting a bit long in the tooth. Next birthday I'll buy him a back-hair trimmer! Heh-he...   Not much else to say. Oh, I (and a friend of mine, we play pool together, quite often) acquired a "regular" status in one of Kontula's bars, namely Wenla. They even gave me a discount card that allows me to play pool for free and shaves off a few cents from my beer. That's deeply troubling, I can add that to the list of my embarrassing achievements. The next thing I can expect at this rate is an invitation to join the local AA club... Sigh. But one must run, since I have a train to catch, a 15:34 Intercity to Joensuu, and it's already 13:50 and I'm still bloggin' in the nude. Gotta pack...   Ah yes, didn't think I'd leave you without linkses, did ya? I think today shall be a porn day. First of all a nice wall-to-wall lesbian orgy. So much pussy it's overwhelming. Then, a little video of Jennifer Lopez's nip slip. Oops. And now for something sad.. Kate's secret (that's Kate from Kate's Playground) has been revealed. She has a hoof-toe. Oh dear. Ah well, she was too good to be true. You should relieve the stress that caused you with some vintage porn. And a nice teen taking a shower. Clean girl. We approve. And that's it. Cya Monday. Or Sunday, if I can be bothered.	Artsy pool picture.
24.11.2004   Yawn... Fuck me, that was a good nap! I just fell asleep after I came back from work. Yeah... And wow, it's been what, 3 days since my last post..? But lets get to the point of this post...   Happy Birthday "Friggin Abandoned Photoblog"! It's been a year since my first post... 147 Posts... Well, it's been a year since the first post yesterday, to be precise. I was supposed to have a little get together with my friends yesterday, but decided not to, as I didn't feel like a beer at the time, and also because I was given a wonderful chance to do something with my girlfriend, to see a movie (The Incredibles, and yes, it was good. The review is by Slashdot! Heh..).   Sigh... Where has the time gone, I wonder? A whole fucking year! It's not recoverable, I'm afraid. I am a year older myself as well, rather un-surprisingly. It is a depressing thought. I am still exactly where I was a year ago, its even scary how little actual change has occurred within my life. Just plodding on one spot. One step forward, one step back. See, it's not the overall situation that's scary. No, it could be much, much worse. It's the absence of any progress, a lack of any sort of growth... Ah, fuck it. I have not the slightest inclination to whine any further about my situation at the moment. I have a girlfriend to pick up from work, and by Jove, I am going to do it!   Ahem. Might have got a bit carried away there, what with the zeal and vim to pick up the old hag. Anyway, I am enjoying my fathers Mercedes-Benz E320 at the moment, since he is now in Sweden. Frankly, I don't see much difference between a Merc of that age and a new Renault or Peugeot. There are some differences, especially in noise levels inside and in the quality of interior, but otherwise they are slight. One thing really ruins Merc's for me: rear-wheel drive. That kind of a setup is definitely not meant for Finnish driving conditions...   I am afraid I am not making much sense today. Let me just give you some links and be off... First off, check out some Twisted Children's Books. A must for every family... Then, for when your children grow up a bit, tell them some Masturbation Horror Stories. Or just show them this lovely picture (well, if it's a lad) and tell them that's what'll happen to them if they continue wanking. But if nothing helps, and your child still turns out to be the predictable sexual delinquent (and they all do, eventually), just give them a copy of Kamasutra for Dummies.   Anyway, do leave your congratulations in the comments, you sad wankers...	Happy Birthday...
21.11.2004 - Part 2   Part 2..? Ah, yes. See, when I wrote my previous entry, the time was around 2am, so technically it was still the 20th. And as I decided to update my blog today, out of sheer boredom, I ran into a problem of dates. So I decided to name this post thusly. Uh. Yes.   Today was a great day. I ventured "Outside"! Yes, that "Outside"! And completed a quest to buy tomato juice, amongst other exciting things. It was cold "Outside". Frozen water fell from the sky, and covered everything. Guess I shoulda worn warmer pants. And underwear. But otherwise that "Outside" thing was kinda boring... I don't see the point in walking around a place that has nothing to offer in terms of gameplay. Where are the monsters? The treasure? The randomly dispersed firearms and power-ups? And the level of NPC interactivity is rather awful. Just try and talk to the first non-player character that comes near, and you will be sorely disappointed. They don't even give out any quests! Well, most of them don't. The ones that smell bad do, sorta. But their quests involve giving them "some change, man", and you can repeat it for as long as you can afford it, and it still doesn't give you any exp!!! But having said all that, the level of realism and detail is pretty fucking impressive. The female character models sport some rather excellent bump-mapping, and the hair... It looks like each fucking strand has been individually rendered! Mind-blowing stuff. You just have to see it to believe it. The NPC AI is also excellent, although the vast majority of NPC's seems to be doing nothing with it. It just seems like such a waste. And, according to my girlfriend, and she goes exploring "Outside" almost every day, the temperature and lighting conditions change constantly as well. I just happened to be there when it was on an "Arctic" setting, I guess. Not cozy. All in all, I give "Outside" a rating of 72% out of 100% possible. A good effort, but still in need of a lotta work.   Yeah. Well, before you run off to frolic in the "Outside", please view a few links I have kindly selected for your pleasure. First of all, I invite you to hit a geek. Smack that bastard silly. Feel the power. Then, uh, lemme see.. Oh, well, here are some pics of celebs acting goofy.  On top of that we'll add Britney being silly (or possibly advertising for McDonalds..?). Tsk tsk.. Oh Britney, you so crazy! For my last offering, a creation of a bored male mind, The Undie-Man Trilogy.	"Outside"
21.11.2004   G'day, me lovies. Today I've mostly been doing shit all. We've been out with my girlfriend yesterday, so today was a nice hangover day. For me, since the poor girl had to go to work. Hehe. So, for me the day was full of napping on the couch covered with cats and blankets, reading web comics on the laptop snuggled on that same couch, and watching the telly. Also from the couch. Just fucking brilliant, really, except for a bit of a head ache in the morning, and a few blanks in my memory of the night before. I have a vague feeling that we've made fools of ourselves in public again. But that's ok. I'm used to that, especially now that I'm dating this crazy bitch I call my girlfriend! Love you, hon...   In other developments... There are no other developments. Bought two DVD's today, "Terminator 2" and "Shanghai Knights". Just because they cost only 3Eur. A fine addition to my DVD collection indeed. Yawn. Outside the world is practically snowed in, according to the view from my window and my girlfriend. I have not set my foot outside today, brr! Although it would have been a good day to take a few proper winterly pics for the blog. Instead, you will have to do with one of our lazy cat.   But now for some link goodness. I confess this update is going to be somewhat full of frontal nudity and all other kinds of profane material... Let's hit it off with Denise Richards Playboy photo shoot. Thats the chick that was in "Wild Things" and as a Bond girl in "The World is Not Enough". Kinda dissapointing, she shoulda done the shoot a long time ago... At least before the kid. Then here is a chance to spice up your boring old girlfriend with these military style costumes! You can also upgrade your girl with this awesome device. A must for every home... Then it's time to meet little Miss Tawnee Stone. Her car broke down, and apparently fixing it involves taking all her clothes off, so here she is... And if this update was too uncouth for your refined taste, here is an informative piece on the History of Boobs. That's it for tonight, then. May the Prophet (peace be upon him) guide your steps.	Pussy tired. Aww...
18.11.2004  Yeah, it's been quite a while. But what do you expect? It's just that I've been awfully busy. So busy, in fact, that I can't really remember what I did on the 15th of this month. If anybody knows, please write it in the comments (No, I wasn't drinking. Yes, I'm sure.).   But then the rest of the days are surprisingly clear. First of all, I bid a fond farewell to a friend of mine who's keeping the peace in Kosovo. The whole "farewell procedure" demanded that we go to a strip club. Naturally. I had work the next day, but I still felt like I had to do it. So, after playing a few games of pool at our local Kontula shit hole, we went off to the "Gentleman's Club". It sorta sucks, like most, if not all, of the strip joints in Finland, but it's relatively cheap. The strippers were flawed, for the most part, although a few had a good pole routine. We were enjoying our beers, when I took one for the team, so to speak. The stripper came begging for tips, and I attempted to candidly take a pic of her cellulite-riddled cheese-colored arse for the benefit of you, my dear blog readers. You made me do it! Because of that, my cam was confiscated, and I had to endure some rather unfriendly glances from the fucking bouncer. Yeah. Well, at least I got it back by the time we left...   The next day I woke up around 10, and went off to work... Little did I know that my shift was to last a whole 19 hours..! The fuckups in Kazakhstan wanted credit cards pronto again. Oh well, at least they will be paying for the overtime and the night extra. Bastards. Although this way I won't have to worry about my rent this month! Yay... And, like I said last time, these long shifts aren't all that bad. You get to be left alone, no one to bother you, drink some beer, watch some fun vids on the net, read some shit off Wikipedia, that kinda crap. You work for 5 minutes, you try to entertain yourself for 5 minutes. Repeat for 19 hours. Of course, if I didn't have the net in the office, or at least a good book, I'd go utterly bonkers.   So there you have it. Some extremely valid reasons for my lazy rate of update. Ah, but the snow is starting to fall in earnest outside.. Let me cheer you up with some linkage.   First of all some incredible piece of ass... Afterwards, to continue the theme, here's a piece by Playboy, called The Women of McDonald's. Sort of a follow up on The Women of WalMart (view the chicks of Walmart here and here). Yummy. Much tastier-looking than the grub they serve. And let me add a few tips for all of us drunkards out there: here are the 86 Rules for a Proper Drunkard. For my last service I'd like to offer y'all some real women, oh yeah.	This coulda been a pic of a stripper.
14.11.2004   Gosh. Imagine, 6 weeks without a single cigarette! Thats 42 days! 1008 hours! But enough with the calculator abuse. It's been 6 weeks, and I feel fine. I don't crave a smoke, my lungs feel cleaner, and I'm generally doing myself a whole shitload of good.   But enough is enough. Yesterday's outing was good enough, I guess. Had a few, went home on a cab. Not the night of revelry I might have expected, but not bad in any case. No hangover either, since my tolerance for beer has improved phenomenally after the excesses during my visit to Russia. After waking up and doing house chores, I had to attend a dinner in honor of my step-sister's (Well, in theory. I see her about once a year) 18th birthday. It was held at Papa Giovanni, an Italian restaurant, so I attended gladly. I had quite a feast. For starters I had a Crostini Misti, that being a fancy name for toast with tuna, goat cheese and olives on top. Then, a rather tongue-twisting Filetto di manzo con patate al gorgonzola e cipola, basically beef with spuds and onions, but with a price tag of 23 Eur... Luverly. Thank god I didn't have to pay, as that place ain't cheap, and, according to my stepfather, keeps getting more expensive as years pass. Anyway, that's it for today's little update, let's move on to the linkses...   Don't suggest getting this little cosmetic enhancement done to your girlfriend. If you want to keep her, that is. Although some people out there could use a little nip & tuck in that general area..! And then, for those that might be going to Japan, a guide to Japanese gestures. Weirdos. This, then, will either spark your appetite, or get rid of it for good, depending... I give you... Banana Cannon! Oh yeah, and it seems that Japan also has it's fair share of angsty teens.	Nightyard.
13.11.2004   You'll never believe this. Guess how I spent my Friday night? No, not drinking until I was too weak to even crawl to the toilet and soiling the couch. Although that has been known to happen... Nor was I sitting at home, spitting at the ceiling and thinking gloomy thoughts. Even though that too has been known to happen. In fact, I did what no one could have ever predicted I'd do. I went to... Work. And what's so special about that, you might ask. Well, yes, I know most of us go to work on Friday. But I really doubt that most of us work from 10am to 4:30am on Friday! Or to 4:30am on Saturday to be precise. Yes. Even though my evil bit.. I mean my dear girlfriend partied away with some dubious half-strangers and came home later than I did. Me kills it some day. Me swears. I'm the only one who's supposed to have fun in the family, dammit.   The reason I worked at such an inconvenient and unorthodox time is, other than the fact that I need the money, that our company received an urgent order from some pinheads in Kazakhstan, who fucked it all up and now want the order done yesterday. Or something like that. So I had to stay behind and emboss around 10.000 credit cards. Losing my hearing in the process, as the staccato beat of the embosser can reach about 90db. Luckily I was allowed a six-pack of beer. I drank that and felt somewhat better, the job becoming more or less bearable.   Actually, it wasn't half bad, not if the embosser worked well and I didn't need to change any ink ribbons or tipper reels... I just sat on the net, read news, and generally enjoyed myself 5 minutes out of every 10. And then the database went up shit creek, and started mixing up the order of completion. Thanks to that, the last 5 hours of work were hell. At least I'm looking at a decent pay for that little stint... Or decent for me, anyway. Only around 170 Eur.   Now I'm home, woke up around 16:30, and have to do the dishes and clean the place up a bit. As soon as I finish listening to Infected Mushroom and manage to get myself off the computer. After that I think I'll meet some friends, drink some beer, and try to have a good time. Hope it works out.   For some links now. I bet you've learned to expect this by now... 1. How computers work. A scanned book from 1971! 2. A perfect spot for a prayer! 3. All the Playboy Playmates of the Month from 1954 to 2004.	Embosser's innards in bad lighting conditions...
11.11.2004   Whee! Eleventh of the eleventh. Aanyway, I ventured out of the house today, I did. I went to town, and walked around and gaped at some things that have changed since I went to Russia, like the restaurant "Churchill Arms" that is now some Italian affair I don't remember the name of...   Basically, the day was all about going to the doctor. My diagnosis was pretty much good, except that I probably have an inflammation in my upper bronchial region (??). Hence (probably, he said) the lack of breath. The doc said that he couldn't do anything about it for the moment, but if the chest pains and shortness of breath continued, it was time for antibiotics and x-rays. Meh. But I blew into one of those lung-capacity thingamajigs (the old mechanical kind), and apparently I've got some sort of a super-lung now that I've quit smoking. The thing went off scale! Wow. The last time I've blown into one of those, I barely made it past 50%...   But back to my city center adventures. I noticed that Christmas came to town. Even though there's still over a month to go... I basically hung around Stockmann, a big store right in the middle of Helsinki, and they had a lot of Christmas stuff on display, as seen from the picture of the day. It sorta cheered me up. One other thing that cheered me up was the fact that I finally have work tomorrow. Although I already wish that it didn't start till Monday!   Here, then are the links: First of all, here are some instructions if you want to teach your girlfriend the fine art of deep-throating. Or if you yourself want to learn how to pleasure your man. Somewhat on the subject, here is a proper eulogy for Arafat. Somewhat more appropriate than the massive attack of arse-licking that broke out all over western media. Ah well. While we are on the subject, here is an interesting piece on the victims of the latest Intifada. On both sides, naturally. And to relieve the tension, here are some hamsters in funny hats.	Whee! Gnomes! Or elfs? Muh. Me confused.
10.11.2004   Again, I'm struck by a wave of bleak melancholy. After sitting at home, comatose and listless, I decided to play some Heroes of Might & Magic III. That didn't help much. I then considered going out and getting myself a six-pack, but realized that I would be just sitting at home, bored and drunk. Yay. A thought then crossed my mind. Why not arrange some company? Meet a friend? Go out for a pint and a few hours of idle banter? But nah. I would make a pitiful companion. Who would I call? I didn't feel the need for human company. It was then that I decided to accept it, and go on with my wretched day. And then, as I was lethargically staring at the screen, my mother called and practically forced me, as only parents can, out of my torpor. I agreed to meet her at Itäkeskus (a big shopping mall in eastern Helsinki).   While there, we had Chinese (chicken with onions, not made all that very well), and looked at some furniture for the office. My mother was shocked at my dispirited demeanor. I'm afraid I presented a rather sorry, unshaven and stooped, picture... The day sucked, all in all. Let us see what tomorrow brings, what with my doctor appointment... I am still woefully out of breath.   Oh, and in case you are wondering what the fuck is up with the picture of the day, it's just that I was having an ice cream while waiting for my mom, and those sweet, lovely toppings captivated me. Mmmm... Toppings...   Here, though, are some links. This Sun will cheer you up! Just don't touch it with your cursor... And for you tetris fans, here is a great version of that timeless classic! The following might make you feel insignificant. And to finish this off, here are some experiments with water in 0g.	Mmm... I want one of these stands at home.
09.11.2004   Hola. For the last couple of days, I have been busily doing absolutely nothing, except attending a halloween party and playing a lot of Battlefield Vietnam. And catching up on the news, naturally. The reason for my blatant inactivity is partly due to an affliction I seem to be suffering from, namely a queer shortness of breath and lung pains... It just seems that I can't breathe at times, and it's been going on for weeks now. I guess it might have something to do with my body getting used to the absense of nicotine and tar, since it's now been 5 weeks and 2 days since my last cigarette. Or then it's some horrible malady, and I have less than a year to live. Go figure. That's why I'm going to see a doctor on Thursday.   The other reason for my lacking participation in daily working life is that I don't really have anything to do at the compay at the moment, whats with the move to a new location and everything... I'm afraid cash is going to start running out soon! However, it's just so nice to be home after a long stint abroad.   Oh, and if you're wondering what ever the fuck we're doing to the cat on the picture, well, we're not molesting it, for starters. The stupid cat shat in the box, and apparently failed to clean it's bottom, so it was dragging it's arse all over the floor, leaving behind some lovely skidmarks. So, after a failed attempt at wiping that smelly arse, we decided to cut away the dangling shitty strands of fur. Boy was that fun...   Links of the day then. First of all, 20 extremely good reasons not to post your pic on the net. And for all you case modders out there, here is a "No Case" case mod. And lastly, let me introduce you to the girl called Dasha...	Eww. Shitty cat-arse clean-up.
08.11.2004   Finally. Fucking finally! I'm home from my long, perilous journey. I've seen a lot, smelled a lot, and ate a lot. Not to mention drank a lot. The trip was, overall, a success. But here is a short account of it...   I first went to St.Petersburg. The train trip took about 6 hours and was far from eventful, and I slept through the most of it. Petersburg itself was also mundane, as I've been there loads of times and didn't really have the time to explore it this time, as the St. Petersburg - Adler train was leaving around 17:00, leaving me only a few hours time, which I used up getting a bit sloshed in an overpriced (by Russian standards that is, with beer and chips in a 4 star hotel lobby only setting me back 5Eur) and ordering new designer specs, complete with lenses, since my old ones got all scratched up and bent. So, to cut the long, tedious story short, I boarded the train, cozied up and started my weird and wonderful journey through the land of rural waste and desolation that is middle Russia.   The train cabin was nice and cozy, as always, and tidy too, and that's not something you can take for granted on Russian trains. I even braved the restaurant wagon, which served a wide variety of beers and a lot of semi-edible food. I stuck to the safest choice - potatoes. And, by the way, if you really want something to eat other than the crap they serve in the restaurant wagon, there are old babushkas serving meat pies, boiled corn, pastries, eggs, you name it, on most of the stops during daylight hours. But once again, you can never be sure that whatever ended up in that pie didn't go bow-wow or miau before they put it there. You can also buy magazines and stuff like beer and cigarettes from the peddlers. Sometimes, if the wagon-masters are lenient (each wagon has its own "caretaker", usually a big, impressive woman in her middle years pulling a 24h shift, responsible for cleaning, serving tea, changing sheets..) the peddlers board the train and go through the wagons, peddling their brickabrack and beer to whoever seems interested. One interesting thing I've observed on the train trips there and back is that these wagon peddlers are usually deaf-dumb. Weird, huh? Well, I guess it's hard for the disabled to eke out a living in Russia, so they do what they can...   Anyway, here is the route and timetable of our trip. One might assume we spent hours glued to the windows, soaking up the half-forgotten (it's been about 7 years since the last time I took a train down south) landscape, but no. You get tired of it in a few hours, pretty much only paying attention to your surroundings if the train stops. So most of the time is spent snacking, sleeping (I, for one, sleep like a baby to the rocking and squeaking of the wagon) and, of course, reading. I finished all the Harry Potters on my irreplaceable Palm Tungsten T2, and played all sorta silly games till the batteries died. I then charged them in an outlet by the stinky lavatory. Until, that is, the wagon master turned the power off and started charging 50 rubles for the privilege. Opportunistic bitch.   So after a moderately nice 2 day trip I found myself standing on the platform by the Krasnodar train station. And it was really warm for a denizen of higher latitudes. That day the thermometers peaked at +22c! (later in my stay it dropped to a more mundane +14 / +17) We were met by my cousins, and taken to the flat they share in Krasnodar, as both study there. Krasnodar is really just a huge village, with a population of over 1 million living in one story wooden houses. Not all of them of course, but you get the picture. It was in Krasnodar that I got my first taste of real Russian roads and, especially, drivers. It was high-speed chaos. We had an 80Km drive to Abinsk ahead of us, amidst oil pump towers (the region is moderately oil-rich) and barren crop fields. As far as I've understood, you go as fast as your car takes you, or as fast as your driving skills can, in your opinion that is, safely take you. So we, in our 1991 Opel Kadett, were passed by MB 600's doing something close to 200Km/h, and ourself passed horse carts doing 15Km/h... The wealth gap is rather apparent on the roads... I've seen cars there that I have not seen outside a catalogue in Finland. Cars that cost millions. Yet I've also seen cars that belong on a dump doing 120Km/h on a highway, looking like they were just about to disintegrate into a million nuts and bolts. But I digress...   When we finally got to Abinsk, a modest feast was thrown in honor of our arrival, with all the grandpas, grand mums, aunts, uncles etc etc present. Exhausting affairs, those family dinners... After that I was pretty much left alone, to rest and recuperate from my "exhausting" journey. And a good thing I was left alone, too. The whole house was abuzz with pre-wedding activity, women bossing men around, bride & friends looking about to faint, groom looking just, well, confused... Weddings, my friends, are hell. So me and the groom skipped home, and went for a pint and a spot of slight gambling. Russia is awash with gambling halls of all manner. It seems that even in tiny Abinsk there is a slot machine or two for every soul living there. I won 1,500 rubles during my stay, a moderately good amount by their standards. Although a good win is considered upwards of 5,000 r (by comparison, a cashier makes about 6 - 8,000 rubles a month). Anyway, the youth is badly infected by gambling fever... Later that night we went out for a drive with my cousins friends, all crammed into a small, fiat-like mini car called "Oka". It was awful, although that ride greatly numbed my fear of fast driving. As we were screaming through the unlit town of Abinsk, doing 120 - 140 in the center of the town, I quickly reached the fear threshold and passed it, coming out on the other side into a lake of fatalistic tranquility.   But let me skip to the wedding. It was a rather traditional affair, with a rented restaurant, and a town hall ceremony. The church bethronal ceremony would take place on the second day. After all were assembled, our motorcade, consisting of 9 cars, varying from a Chrystler Cirrus to an old Lada 2106, went crawling off to a nearby village of Veselo, where the bride was held ransom at her grandparents place. I guess I should explain... It's a tradition. The groom arrives to the people holding the bride, and sends his envoys to try and belittle her merits, while the people holding the bride exalt her, trying to get a better price. Nowadays no real money changes hands (unless you happened to visit a nouveau rich wedding, that is), but faux banknotes. When the deal is made, the bride is whisked away to the ceremony. But not before the cars are stopped by children, passers-by and stuff like that. And you have to bribe them, this time with real money. Because of that our progress was really slow, with the best man spending about 2 thousand rubles of his own money. We then arrived to the town hall, a fairly traditional & mundane ceremony took place, with "Do you, bla bla bla..." and "I do, bla bla bla...". Some official documents are signed, some tears are shed, and that's that. The knot is tied. But the party is just beginning..!   After the ceremony the bride with her entrouage are taken around town for photo opportunities and to lay a wreath at the bottom of the Memorial Flame, either to The Unknown Soldier or some other WWII victims. Nice custom, huh? Although I must admit it's mostly an automatic gesture for most of Russian newlyweds... After all that we were rushed to the rented restaurant where the feast in honor of the newlyweds was to be held. And what a feast it was. Tables groaning under various Russian delicacies and liters upon liters of vodka. Groom's family also hired a dj, a singer and a professional wedding entertainer, called "Tamada". That's a profession, not a name. She was good, forcing the best man and the best woman (or whatever one calls friend of the bride) to do various often humiliating tasks, and generally entertained the guests. I was later recruited to be one of the "Rjazheny", or dressed-up people, as a bride. By that time I was a bit too drunk to really realize what was going on, but I was taken to the marketplace, and was forced to drink vodka with the peddlers there. Oh well. After that my memory blurs somewhat, but I do recall a lot of dancing, drinking and eating. During it all the newlyweds were practically showered with money, real money this time. By the time they counted up their gifts and donations, it came to 55,000 rubles, or about 1,500 Eur. In the evening the bride and the groom went off to their bridal suite near Abinsk, a picturesque place called "Lesnoe Ozero", to consummate their marriage. Or count the gift money, as they put it. Which seems a more realistic proposition, since the groom was rather wasted by the time they had to leave for the bridal suite.   The second day was a nightmare. I was woken up by my buddy, a guy called Vlad, who serves in Chechnya. He is a Spetznaz captain, and I've seen a lot of interesting pictures and heard a ton of great stories from him. he is also an expert drinker, so I downed 12 shots of vodka first thing in the morning. That was my undoing, naturally. I can't really remember much of the second day either, except that I drank more than on the first day, and feared for my sanity. That same day, after the celebrations ended at the restaurant, most of the younger guests went to a club (the only club in Abinsk, "City Club") and continued drinking there! I was out cold on the couch by then. I don't understand how some Russian weddings can go on for 3 or more days. One would think you'd go nuts from the drinking.   Well, that just about sums up the wedding. It took everyone a couple of days to revive after it, and then, suddenly, it was time for me to leave. A day before that, however, I visited Novorossiysk, a port town (pop. ~200,000) about 70Km south-west of Abinsk. While there, I bough some DVD's at around 100 rubles a pop, a bit under 3 Eur, and paid a visit to some family friends, plus did some general sightseeing...   Phew. I am not going to bother describing the trip back, except to say that it was just as uneventful as the trip there, nor am I going to describe my very short stay at St.Petersburg, as I have written enough. I just want to apologize for the fact that it took me a couple of days to write this down...   So there you have it. And now for some disturbing links. Islamism reared its ugly head in Holland while I was gone, apparently.. Here is a letter by Theo Van Gogh from June 2004. Nice going, Holland. It seems that authorities will do everything in their power to ignore the situation utill something like this happends. Well it happened. Now what, Holland? Oh, and by the way, the movie, "Submission", that cost Theo Van Gogh his life, is now available on the net.  And Arafat, it seems, is on his last breath. What is the old killer thinking about, one wonders? Well, he has a lot to show for his efforts. The terrorist is now a Nobel peace prize winner, a billionaire and an internationally recognized leader. Allahu akbar, my kittlings.	Departure from St. Petersburg! Some old communist with a flag in Krasnodar. The view from my aunt's yard in the morning. Newlyweds tie the knot, officially. Newlyweds swimming in cash... WWII memorial in Novorossiysk.

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