29.06.2006   My hands are still shaking from the Midsummer festivities... Brr. So excuse me if I make more syntax errors than usual. At least I have a spell checker, so spelling shouldn't be much of a problem.   But yeah. Let me rub what brain cells I have left together and see if any memories come up. See, at first I didn't even feel like going anywhere. I was just being my apathetic self, lying on the couch, scratching whatever places that demanded it, eating junk, watching crap... I mean really, you can't run from yourself, so why even bother trying? Might as well just stay at home and try not to think too much.   But then I'd feel guilty and lame for not going anywhere or doing anything. That would add to the general feeling of apathy, and there was plenty of that sloshing about already. So me and Bonus decided to spend our Midsummer at Kaunissaari. That plan was then canceled by me when there only were a few days left, after I met some of my Finnish fellers at a bar some time later, and a preliminary plan was drawn up that included going to the Hietsu beach, with a few cases of beer, a boom-box and a huge-ass terrace umbrella. I just figured it'd be easier to stay in Helsinki, close to home, a cozy bed to crawl into when the inevitable hangover would strike... I felt different the day before departure, so I canceled all my plans (more like just failed to call the friends I arranged things with) and called up my crew, i.e. Bonus, and the next day headed off to Kaunissaari... At the last moment. delaying our departure by an hour or so, we were joined by another young man, a guy I haven't seen in a couple of years, Kolya. So off we went. And a good time was had by all. Kolya might have contracted hepatitis C (although it isn't really an STD) from some ex prostitute/junkie that came bumming drinks from our boat, I drank with some elderly skinheads, we made a lot of great friends, and we made tons and tons of barbecued meat. I also fell asleep (read:passed out) on the beach, and woke up not quite sure of where, when and who I am. Those 2 days went by awfully quickly... On the way back, after a royal send off by most of the boating folk on the pier, something that was awfully touching, we seem to have struck something. The depth sounder was showing a steady 9 meters under the keel, but, going as we were at 4,5 knots, the collision gave us a nasty jolt, I even hit my head a little. No water was found in the bilges, and no visible damage along the waterline. It shall remain one of those mysteries, I guess. Must have been some semi-submerged object, like a log or something. Will have to dive under the boat and inspect the keel later.   The reason I am compressing the tale of the Midsummer and all that happened before / later is that I have to go to bed, since tomorrow I am departing for an epic voyage to Pärnu! It will go via Hiiumaa, Saaremaa and Kihnu, bike trip on Saaremaa, meet my old friend, Sasha the photographer, in Haapsalu, and generally have fun. I hope. I have my doubts because I am not quite stable, see, and have been having a bit of a hard time with my depression lately... Ah well. Here's hoping. Cross your fingers for me, eh?   Anyway, have to go. But some links are in order, such is the compelling force of tradition... First, a hilarious interview in Iraq. Ok, then some Soviet era stuff. Some sweet childhood memories there... That awesome 20 kopeek ice-cream, the pins, the toy cars... The site is in Russian, but is easy to figure out, basically the pictures represent categories. There's even some examples of Soviet home-made (the only kind) porn! Oh, and here's some pics of rain-flooded Moscow, taken 26.06. That's really weird, haven't heard anything about it on the news...	About as pretty as it gets.
20.06.2006   Man, I'm all roasted. I just spent 4 hours sans shirt on the soft, if a bit unclean and butt-infested, grass of Esplanadi. Had a nice chicken wrap, and a few very warm light beers. It was all pretty damn boring, of course. Beats sitting at home, sure, but not by much. Alcohol made it tolerable, and so did the chicks in them skimpy mini-skirts trying to sit on the grass in a way that would not show off their underwear. Although you can't really call those cunt-splitting pieces of string underwear, can you. But hey, I'm not complaining. Makes for a much better view.   Apart from being severely roasted and mildly bored at Espa, I have not been doing much. Or it depends, really. Depends on what you compare it with. I have not been scaling mountains, sure. Nor have I been working 12 hours a day down a coal mine. I have, however, sailed and traveled. If you can call going to a town an hours drive away travel. But I digress, more on that later. As for now, I shall feast my eyes on Pimp my Ride and feast my gut on Pez, coupled with some American Crunch.   Ok, that was yesterday. After having that American Crunch and some apple juice I passed out in the puddle of my sweat on the couch. Today was... Somewhat different. I went to work. Now while that might be weird enough by itself, I had an interesting task: I had to shop for a corporate gift to a Russian rich guy. You know the type, six figure monthly income, track suit bottoms, leather jacket, big armored Mercedes... He's a big time hunting fan, so had to figure out something along those lines, at first. So I spent my morning in hunting stores playing (and taking pictures of) with knives, antique swords and hunting accessories... Not guns though, unfortunately, cos its sort of troublesome to bring them across the border.   Anyway, after all that stuff it was time to meet some friends at Espa again... Boring and unimaginative, but what can you do. The friends in question were exceedingly well educated, well connected and even better versed. Sick of the creeping feeling of insecurity I went to Kallio and had a pizza vegetariana with ham on top. It didn't really help. I was cornered by two butch lesbians, who then proceeded to make small talk at me. It was not a pretty sight, that. Luckily they soon went off to apparently see a guy called Piri-Harri (meth-Harry).   And that was it for today. So I suppose I should go on ranting about the subjects I started expanding on yesterday. First of all, there's the Saturday sail to Kaunissaari. It was awesome, the best you could have, really. A good run there with the wind from astern, and an exhilarating close-hauled sail back, at 5.5 to 6 knots, with the water lapping the deck and the spray flying... The island itself proved to be worth of its name as well (literally "beautiful island"), with a wonderful and very spacious harbor and great, very varied scenery. Didn't see the whole of it, but did find a comfy beach. As always, I had one of them disposable grills with me, so we grilled some pork, and then headed back to the boat. The only problem with Kaunissaari is its crowded harbor. Everybody and their dog want to go there, especially during the weekends...   Afterwards we were immediately picked up by some friends and headed off towards Lahti. I was sharing a ride with Ultra and his new girlfriend. Oh boy, what a choice did he make... The chick was on his case all the time, thinking up convoluted and petty things to bitch about, at a rate of a dozen an hour. She almost drove me insane, and I wasn't even the target. Yet the guy is still all smitten and shit. Weirdo...   So after what seemed a very, very long drive, during which I managed to fall asleep with a can of beer on my chest (I had the back seat all to myself), soaking myself and the seat it as soon as my hands relaxed, we made it to Lahti. Had a good time making meat, sausages, salad and all sorts of edible crap. Also got to start & drive a huge-ass truck, albeit only for a dozen meters... Incredible feeling sitting up there and having all that raw power in your thrall. For the whole of the night I was on fire, they should have been writing my shit down, honestly... And that's where I'll leave this account, since some rather ego-shattering events took place soon afterwards, besides this blog ain't anonymous enough by far... Perhaps a move would soon be in order..?   Now I think its time for a shower, even though the time is almost 3am. So I'll wrap this rather boring update up with some links... This update will mainly be photographic in nature, so first of all check out these HDR photos of tunnels by Russos. And then some more tunnels in HDR (what's HDR?) by the same guy... Plus a huge portal of some very good works by Russian photographers at 500px.com. But enough photography. Here's a guide to your classic inkblot test, with answers and what they signify. I might be a latent homosexual. Dear old me. And probably a schizophrenic. As for the last link, let it be Hel Looks, street fashion from Helsinki... Some interesting (and very freaky) folk there...	Tight! Pimp my Ride would be in tears. The lifting of an ancient phallic symbol.
14.06.2006   Tweet fuckety tweet. Dumb birds. Can't even fall asleep with the stupid things screeching outside. Plus they're driving the cat mad as well. And what the hell am I doing up at 4 am? Why, playing Heroes of Might & Magic V and watching BBC World, of course. My days have slowly been turning into nights lately, and I don't mind. There's nothing to do, and no desire to do anything either. But then I'd rather have this apathy than wild mood swings and terrifying panic attacks. Anyway, fuck this, I'll try to get some sleep now and continue in the morning. Or at noon, as the case might most probably be.   But despite all that apathy and general lack of enthusiasm I did manage to sail Blowfish to Porvoo on Saturday. And even come back alive and in one piece on Sunday... My first overnight sail of the season, too. I wasn't originally supposed to sail to Porvoo. In fact, the original plan was that I would either end up driving to Lahti, attending Jyga's house warming party, or just wanking about at home, drinking beer and playing video games. But then came Saturday, and as I idly lay awake on the couch I found myself thinking that a change would do me good, so instead of drinking somewhere, doesn't matter where, and repeating the same old worn pattern, I'd drink my way merrily to Porvoo. So I called up Bonus, and quickly explained the gist of the matter to him. Luckily he was available even at such a short notice, so soon we were at sea, going towards Porvoo at a fairly nice clip.   Anyway, Porvoo was nice. We had a few drinks, walked about, saw the burned down church, ate at a decent but inexpensive meal at Sevilla and... Went back to the boats for some more drinks and sleep. As Wallu, one of the people accompanying Mr. Z on the trip, aptly pointed out "If we were younger we'd have hit the clubs even if we didn't feel like it". He's right, I guess. The next day was spent mostly motoring (17 miles out of 26 total) back home, first in adverse and later in non-existing wind conditions.   After Porvoo came the dreary days. Monday was spent at home, without even going out to the balcony, not to mention actually venturing outside. I finished GTA San Andreas, and played a lot of HOMM5. It was boring, but... No. It was just boring. The weird thing was that I didn't have anything alcoholic on that day. On Tuesday I actually crawled out, was dumbstruck by how hot it actually was outside, shopped around for new sunglasses, found & bought them, got some lures for my rod, bought a trashy fantasy novel, and went to sit on the lawn of Esplanadi, where I was soon joined by Wallu. We drank a few beers, wagged our tongues a little, and went our separate ways. That was that, really. I think I might do a repeat of it today, after I visit my useless shrink. It's not as though I have anything else to do, do I...   So yeah, link time again. I would love to try this Flying Suit. Looks so awesome, and so friggin dangerous, doesn't it? While we're on the video line here, watch these incredible machine -styled clips from Japan. Then, check out some truly awe-inspiring masterpieces of advertising from Cannes Lions 2005. Ok, enough with the videos for now. Remember the Bunny Suicides link I posted some time ago? Well, here's Bunny Suicides again, but this time a lot more of them.	The crews at Porvoo. First hot day at Espa...
09.06.2006    I bet you're wondering why there's a cute little devil smiley by the date today. Thing is, I was supposed to post an update on the 06.06.06, but fate intervened. It was indeed a devilish day, marked by a little bit of bad luck. But hey, read what I had time to write on that day below...   "Well hey, whaddaya know, it's the dreaded Devil Day. You know, the sixth of the sixth of the sixth? Mark of the beast and what not? Well it's today. And some online gambling sites are offering 10 to 1 odds on the end of the world today. I just wonder who'll collect... But I myself must go to Kallio in order to satisfy my pizza & beer cravings and meet an on-line auction customer to whom I sold a set of somewhat stolen  nautical charts for 34 Eur. I think I shall bring with me a picture of the day or two as well. Let's all hope for a police shoot-out or a grisly car crash, eh? Or at least a hobo brawl..."   Ah, yes. I did go to Kallio and later to Hellbo's, but, to my amazement and disappointment, I noticed that my camera's battery has mysteriously ran out of juice! Not that I used it a lot during the few days since I've recharged it, it just died. I guess it was all these Satanic, uh, waves and foul particles that sapped the life out of the battery. So no update back then. But an update today!   Although there isn't much to update about. I've been out and about, halfheartedly, made a visit to some thrift stores, bought some more books (thus increasing the backlog of unread books to about 20) and drank. Nothing spectacular, just beer. But still. Drank. It seems like for a few months now there hasn't been a single day without beer being consumed in some quantity. Nothing major, maybe just a few bottles, but rather worrying none the less, imho. Surely it is a bad sign when the first thing you think about after putting in your contact lenses is whether or not there's a beer in the fridge. I guess it's time to quit for a while, but I can't figure out what will I substitute for it... I need something to keep me stable, see. Something to help me forget. Come to think of it, all signs point to me being a budding alcoholic.   And now there's an uncomfortable silence. But hey, at least I have new channels on TV now. Apparently our house now has the Welho thingy, giving us things like MTV Finland and BBC World. Awesome... But Animal Planet has gone, though. Sniff. I guess I'll shell out an extra 11 Eur a month come Autumn for a MiniForte channel pack, that'll buy me Animal Planet, Discovery, TCM, Cartoon Network, BBC Prime... Then, coupled with the net, I won't have to leave the house. Ever.   That was it, then. Link time. Oh, but! Before I forget, there's good news coming from the Middle East. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is finally resting in pieces! Of course, our peace-loving, cuddly Palestinians are not exactly overjoyed. On the other hand, Israeli's have not been wasting time either, sending Jamal Abu Samhadana to meet his 72 virgins. Or was it raisins..? Anyway, enough of that. I've received some sneering feedback on an opinion piece by Fjordman posted earlier, so hey, here's another one, this one even closer to home... Dark Side of Paradise. Oh, and here's a piece for all of those who for the life of them can't find a "common denominator" among all those arrested terror suspects in Britain, Canada, France... It's The Jihad, Stupid. Anyway, over and out.	Cryptic scribblings on the wall.
04.06.2006   Yawn... I just came back home, having left at around noon, been gone all day, sailing... And that right after a boisterous night out at Kallio. I wasn't supposed to go out, but Bonus called and wanted to celebrate his raise (100 Eur), and I decided that just sitting inside watching telly all day is no way to go. So I left... And things quickly went downhill from there, so to speak. Although I did have fun, no question there. We were joined by a few acquaintances, quite sauced up already... One of them started waving a stem of an umbrella around, sans the actual top bit. That upset the bouncer a bit, so the stick was promptly and prudently confiscated. Well, that was not enough. The guy in question, in an apparent state of delirium, then started loudly proclaiming that he was Montenegro. Yes. The state of bloody Montenegro. After that the bouncer just threw his crazy ass out... The only drunk acquaintance left has not been wasting time either, apparently. He started hitting on Bonus, saying that there is no need to deny his homosexuality and inviting him to come upstairs to his flat. And that's from a guy who is a straight ordinary bloke, or is at least when sober! After being snubbed by Bonus, he proceeded to loose his wardrobe ticket, and of course couldn't get his jacket, which contained his home keys. So he spent part of the night in the hallway in front of his own door. Fed up with that, he apparently somhow ambulated to a nearby hotel, or at least that's where he discovered himself in the morning, clutching some woman's knitted jacket, a jacket he had no memory of obtaining. So yeah, we had quite an entertaining night out, you could say. At least the company was interesting, in a pathological sort of way...   So yes, today we went sailing. Quite a miracle in itself, really, since I was feeling like I was about to die in the morning. Quite expected, sure, but no less nasty for it. I managed to somehow drag myself to the boat, and set about curing my hangover with some beer. I still felt quite woozy one bottle later, but at least I killed the rat trying to eat its way out of my sorry brain. Bonus was already waiting by the quay, so we only had to wait for my ex, and departed towards Pihlajasaari at about 3pm... Everything looked fairly nice, but then we hit a fog bank, in places thick and in others thin, but nasty and cold, stealing the sun and the shore. We rendezvoused with Mr. Z and his boat outside Katajannokka, where we had an interesting encounter with a RoRo ferry coming out of a fog bank, stealthy like fuck. We had plenty of time to maneuver, so the situation wasn't dangerous per se, but it was still a bit of a breath catcher. Mr. Z was supposed to join us at Pihlajasaari, but didn't like the idea of dodging ferries in the fog, so he went back in... We, on the other hand, sailed on. When we got there it was the usual deal of some more beer, a disposable grill, and too much sausage. At least this time there was salad, since having a woman with you usually means that they bring vegies and make salad. It's a law of some sort I guess. Having a woman on board also meant that it had to be locked up in a cabin with a bucket a couple of times. It didn't like that, but the alternative was a slow and painful death from a burst bladder, and it didn't like that either.   Anyway, now I'm sitting here, tired and sleepy. Therefore, link time... First, all the Playboy Playmates, from 2000 to 2004. Then little suicidal bunnies! I think I have posted that one before, but its so good I'll post it again. Oh, and check out the dumbest fucking tattoos ever... And then play a 3rd world farmer game. An exercise in futility, it seems. I mean, people, how simple can it be, don't go to a 3rd world country with a farming career in mind! Sheesh...	It came upon us from the fog!
02.06.2006   Sniff. I'm feeling a bit on a sick side right now... This sucks. I can feel the shakes coming on again, and that rheumatic pain in my joints just wont leave me alone. At least this is not quite as bad as last night, yet. I could barely stop my teeth from chattering, and spasm after chilling spasm shook my pudgy carcass. And after that came the bloody heat waves, of course. And puddles of sweat. Ah well. I wonder if beer is a good or a bad idea at this stage? We shall see, I guess. Besides, I am almost positive that it won't hurt in moderate amounts...   Yeah, and, um, I'm sorry for not updating. Again. It seems that opening the editor up and typing inane rambles keeps getting harder and harder... I guess this blog reflects the times. I must say that things have leveled out a bit with my sanity, but it is still hard to wake up in the morning, harder to be alone, and even harder to think of the future. For the future does not look good. I don't mean in a financial or a romantic sense, since ultimately none of that matters if the foundations are rotten. And by foundations I mean the underlaying bedrock of sanity that supports every person through his or her life. See, I've been having these, hmm, spells since I turned 14 or so, and every subsequent one got a little worse... At this rate I will end up in a snake pit by the time I'm 35, at the latest.   Ok, so after this cheery rant, where was I? Ah yes. Sure, lets just recap the past two or so weeks. Oh shit, I can feel the feverish shakes coming on again. Man, that just sucks. I know I will be barely able to write in an hour or so, therefore I will try to make it quick... Uh, I don't remember much, as usual, owing to poor memory and perpetual depression, but let's see... I had a few more day trips on Blowfish, quite nice ones, plenty of wind at least, and I've been to Lahti, or actually the vicinity of. Those, I think, were the highlights. The sailing was fun, if cold and a tad wet, and Lahti was kinda fun too. Cold as well, quite naturally. But the shashlik was good, and the girls friendly. Although disappointed, I heard later, that I didn't pursue them more actively. Oh well, their problem. That is a complaint I am fairly used to... In the end Bonus and I drove away with a strange feeling of uncertainty, not quite sure whether we had fun or not. Plus getting out of Lahti proved to be a complicated process indeed. I took a wrong turn or five, and in the process saw a lot of lovely, if lonely and somewhat boring, Finnish countryside. I've been doing a quite a lot of driving lately, actually. Mum flew away to Kazakhstan, on business, for a week, and blessed me with a car. Which was nice. So I've been driving around everywhere just for the sheer hell of it, and also helping out a few friends in need of transportation et cetera. But she came back today, so no more access to the car, at least not on a whim, 24hrs a day. Another nasty side effect of my mom coming back is that she decided to stay at her city (well, suburb, to be perfectly honest) flat (which I am currently selfishly occupying) for the night. She managed to drive me insane in just under half an hour. Parents tend to do that I guess, when their company is enjoyed in large doses and in close proximity.   I've also been doing all manner of boatsy handiwork lately, mainly just lugging more stuff into the boat to make it prettier and somewhat more habitable, but also "hardcore" DIY like painting and sanding! I'm a tough cracker, me. I've also been noticing, again, how expensive boating can be. I only have about 350 Eur left on my boat maintenance/improvement account... That's a 1000 Eur less than 2 moths ago... But then again I did get a Garmin 76C with a set of monstrously expensive e-maps and shit. But enough about the boat stuff.   I think I shall just dump my links now and go to bed. Lets go artsy first... Here's some awesome shit by Jacek Yerka. And some truly awesome sculptures by Ron Mueck! I wonder if they look as fantastic up close IRL? One way to find out... And then there's Mr. Rob Gonsalves. I think his style is called Magic Realism. Not bad, not bad at all. And the last, but not least, is a gallery by a guy called Jan von Holleben. In some way the weakest works of the three, but quite nice in others. I think that now a little musical intermission is in order to help you deal with all that art. That was just an awesome musical piece, I am sure you agree. And if you feel you want to be shaken up by unorthodox political views, read this piece by Fjordman, entitled "The Fall of France and the Multicultural World War". Ok, I think I will wrap it up now.	Lost keys lead to cut bikes... Pretty double rainbow. Mum was on the KLM plane...

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