| 12.02.2006 Well, hi all. It's been a while again, hasn't it? And for a reason, too... I guess I should come clean. I have been very, very unwell lately. I've always had a bit of a problem with depression and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), but the past two weeks have been simply awful. I am not going to go into details, since it is pretty much impossible to describe the symptoms to somebody who's never experienced them, but let me just say I actually considered voluntary hospitalization. Yes Mr. Z, that's why I canceled our visit to the boat show, and that's why my school attendance has suffered as well. I've visited a psychiatrist, but she couldn't do anything other than upping my Fevarin dose and suggesting some freaky-ass psychosis meds "just in case". I had a vision of myself happily comatose and drooling on the couch for the next few years and politely declined, asking her to forward me to a proper therapist. However, it was far easier said than done... I can't find a damn psychologist anywhere! I am not talking about one provided by the community, either, I am talking about the 120€ an hour kind! One would think there would be plenty willing therapists around... But no. I guess Finland is indeed a land full of depressive, suicidal people, hogging all the damn shrinks. Mind that I am not blaming Finland (as some tend to) for my predicament, though. I remember some of my first depressive episodes going as far back as far as when I was only 7 years old. Anyway, there. I don't know why I've always found it so hard to tell of my problems even to the closest of people. It's not only the fear of being ostracized, as most of my friends don't have any prejudice towards depressive or otherwise mildly unstable people. Nor is it shame. Why conceal it then? Everybody always asks... I don't know. Perhaps it's an instinct as old as life itself, to crawl away and lick your wounds far away from the pack. Anyway, I believe I am now slowly getting better, and perhaps in a week or two this will all be nothing more but a distant, nightmarish memory. Here's hoping... I am going to drop a few links now, relating to the whole Islamic hoopla that's been making waves around the world. First of all, here's a pack of images from the spontaneous demonstration in London. Note the peace-loving, compromise-seeking placards! Oh, and the last 2 pics are not from London. Those are somewhat more serious Palestinian boys. A more organized demonstration was staged today on Trafalgar square, with home-made placards banned... Draw your own conclusions. I would also like to present to you an archive of images of Mohammad crafted over the centuries, both by Muslims and westerners. None caused the uproar caused by the Jyllands-Posten cartoons. Why? Visit the site and get an educated opinion on that... |
 The demon in my head is nowhere near as cuddly... |
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