27.12.2005   Oh boy. I've just got back home from the ever fucked-up battlefield of family feuds. I am a scarred warrior of my fathers failed marriages. Ever since I remember my self... I mean, I saw the guy whoop my mothers ass, then his second wife's ass, then his third wife's ass... That's about as much ass whooping as I'd ever care to see... Anyway, I've sat there, sober, while my dad, clothed in nothing but a bath robe, displaying all that I've always thought would never even enter my imagination, wept, and made freaky sounds, like a... Like a... I don't know. And I don't care to describe. It wasn't pretty, that much I know. Oh, and I didn't remain sober for long, either. Who the fuck would've?   Sorry to start off my first post-xmas entry like that, on such a kacky note. I've been eating a lot this x-mas, and getting a lot of presents as well. In other words, I've been having a good old-fashioned Christmas all around. Except that this Christmas me and girlie weren't together. She was at her mum's and I was at a friends place, that dude had a party for the loners. What a fiasco that turned out to be.   Anyway, I'm fine now. Here, by my computer, with my beer and sub-par shoutcast comedy radio blaring in my ear, I am fine. Untouchable and near-immortal. But that shit with my dad... I mean, will it never let me be? Man, what an adolescent question. And I even happen to know the answer. No, it wont. Never. That's what family's for. Spreading the misery around, as thin as you can. Makes it easier to bear, no? Ok, I am probably being a bit unfair. It's not that dad has anybody else to turn to that he can explicitly trust. But hey, I wonder why he doesn't have any close friends..? Things like that usually have a weighty reason behind them, as I've observed.   Man, ok, let's drop the whole "I've got more x-mas presents than you" thing. We won't go there this time. I'll just stop here and give up the links. Carrying on with the cheerful theme, here's the Golden Gate suicide tally since 1937. Impressive, eh? Now you know where to jump off and still be original. Plus, a church in the Czech republic, very nice. The bony decor makes the visit worthwhile. And then a random humor link. Bears. Not bad. Good night, kittlings.	Merry X-mas and a happy New Year..!
21.12.2005   Ah, the joy of spending a well earned evening off at home... I feel like a million bucks, what after a nice, rigorous day at work... That's right, after a bit of relaxing at home abject poverty finally succeeded in forcing me to go to work... Awful, awful stuff. The job was never much fun to begin with, but the trip there is the main killer. It can take over an hour to get there, and in this weather it isn't much fun. Bloody buses can be way over stuffed, and the gray scenery streaking past is so depressing. Had to drive around a lot today, that was fun, for the first two hours. Delivering cakes to our customers, as a nice way of saying "Merry Christmas". Oh bugger it. Fuck the buses and work... Let's not write about them anymore, my precious.   Instead, let's write about the wet dream we had this evening while taking a nap after work... It was bizarre! I actually came in my sleep! I woke up having a full-fledged orgasm! That has only happened to me once or twice before. I will even go as far as saying that it's pretty rare for guys in general. The dream itself was a horribly disappointing one, as far as wet dreams go. I was at some weird strip club, and was approached by a hooker. She wasn't even a looker (they so seldom are...), just a weary woman in her late thirties. We haggled for a long, long time, three quarters of my dream actually consists of this haggling scene, and when I finally got her down to 40 Eur for a shag... The dream me bloody reconsidered! "Nah, too expensive. How about a blow job instead?". She said she'd do it for fifteen. I said "That's more like it! I'll have some of that!" and dropped my pants... She got down on her knees, took out a rubber, and started slowly sliding it over my penis... And then I came! I fucking came there and then! Even before anything happened! Big-time premature ejaculation in a fucking DREAM! I won't even go into a tirade describing how unfair that is. I can only shake my head in shocked, mournful disbelief.   Unfortunately, that is all I can think of right now. That weird ass dream. At least girly had a good laugh over it... Oh well. I think I should just head to bed now, have an early start tomorrow. I just hope I will be spared from any more of those "wet dreams". Oh, let me just say that the pic of the day is from a little board game evening where we played "Guillotine". A fun, easy to learn game...   Ok, link time. Let's have some videos found on Google. First off, a week's worth of traffic on Panama Canal compressed into 11 minutes. Pretty cool! After that, something I've always wondered about. How does a Smart car behave in a high-speed crash? According to this video, pretty darn well... And just for the heck of it, enjoy a webcam in Venice.	Piss boy...
17.12.2005   It's over! Finally over! All the exams done and courses completed. Now I have a month (!!!) of X-mas holidays! I am quite happy with how things turned out, frankly. The motto was "Maximum results with minimum of effort", and it worked, this time. I got pretty good grades, and didn't fail a single course. And thats without doing homework or studying for exams. Well, except for Excel. That one had me worried, but it turned out that I needn't have... Got 4 out of 5 possible points on that one.   So, all in all, the first half a year of my stay at Helia can be safely declared successful. This is also the first time I've stuck to one place of study (I don't count high school and upper secondary) for so long, and completed so many courses. I think it is mostly due to a realization that I have to do something eventually, and the fact that, compared with the colleges I've attended previously, I have been blessed with pretty decent classmates.   Anyway, enough about school. The thing that worries me the most now is that I've been very naughty lately. Financially, that is. I managed to waste all of my money already, and my student aid isn't due for another half a month... I drank the last of it away yesterday with some classmates, since we all met up late in the evening to celebrate the successful completion of all the exams. It was ok, even though a bit boring at first. But then the alcohol kicked in, and some more people showed up, and suddenly we were having a good time. At least until we left Praha and went to Baarikärpänen. What a waste of time and money that was. Not much money, mind you, but more than I could afford. I should have just gone home after Praha, like originally planned. But nooo... I had to yield to the girly persuasions and come to bloody Baarikärpänen. Man, I hate that shit hole. I mean, it's a nice enough place what with the design and all, but the clientele is so fucking pathetic! Who in their right mind would want to hang out with a bunch of horny old arabs and "Latinos" of dubious origins, self-important "playas" and a throng of slutty teen bitches? The only fun bit came after I left, and accidentally bumped into a drunk American guy, in his tweens, with a bunch of friends. Had a nice chat, then took a pic of him and his girlfriend and promised to e-mail it to him. And I actually did! I'm so nice... He's already back in the States, and was surprised I remembered and cared enough to send him the pic. I was no less surprised, believe me.   So now I am broke, with 0,30 Eur on my account. And I still have a couple of X-mas presents to buy, too. At least all the bills (i.e. net, electricity...) have been paid for. You know, this would be the perfect time for my lotto luck to pick up. A million or so wouldn't hurt a bit. Hell, even a few thousand euros would be more than nice. Ah well. I guess I'll have to work instead. Even though that though makes me shudder.   But generally, life is good. Lately, life has been moderately fun, and exceedingly easy. And it looks like it will keep getting better. At least as long as I keep taking my medication..!   Enough blogging for now, however. Here, why don't you go and do an Interactive Autopsy. Could be a bit more gory, imho. Or make some rather interesting gingerbread cookies. Or play Incriminati 2, a game where you have to hide evidence of a party from your parents. Very nostalgic. And in case you're really bored, and I mean terminally bored, you can now read the constitutions of every nation on earth. Oh, and let us not forget a dose of cute. Check out the Ninja Cats. Then I suggest you see this funny comparison of commercials... Plagiarism or accident? Who cares. Anyway, I still have a ton of links, but I guess I'll save them for another post. BTW, the article with a telling "Freudian slip" that I took a picture of in the previous post has not been apologised for or even commented on by the Uutislehti 100. Plus the woman turned out to be a faker...	I always did like tunnels. A light-show in Kontula. WTF?
15.12.2005   Hola folks! I'm back, home already (it's barely noon) after a surprisingly easy (considering how hard and boring the actual course was, and how I never did any homework) English Grammar exam. I completed it in 20 minutes, and left first. But that's just because I never, or at least very rarely, check my exam papers once I've written them... I think I passed, even if I probably won't be getting the top score. Now the only exam remaining is the Excel exam. That one I dread the most... My utter lack of comprehension of anything that even remotely touches on the subject of mathematics is seriously hampering my progress. The upcoming Excel exam is also partly to blame for my once again lax rate of blog updates. Oh well, I don't care what grade I get, as long as I don't actually fail the course.   Anyway, I've not done much these past few days. I did, however, get roaring drunk at our local pub with Bonus on Sunday, of all days. Oh yes, the classic Sunday drunk. It's just so much more fun when you're not supposed to be doing it! In any case, the repercussions of that Sunday binge were severe... I paid for it not only financially, but also with a severe case of the morning after embarrassment. As well as with a moderate hangover (hangovers have been so much less painful since I quit smoking!), and the fact that I missed a voluntary class on Excel, the "Excel Workshop" that was held the next day at noon, for the benefit of all that feel uncomfortable with Excel...   Today I decided to surprise my ancient hag with a demonstration of my "superior" cooking abilities by making "Christmas tarts", as seen on one of the pics on the right. We've made them together (well, I did sort of help) a few days ago, and, after consuming a dozen or so, vowed never to make them again. We were so bloated that the rest of the day was spent in great suffering. The next day, after an overnight stay in the fridge, the tarts were possibly even more delicious than the day before. I gobbled down a few, and managed to exercise just enough self-restraint to save her one lonely tart... So now I decided to repay her and make her some in return! They aren't as pretty as the ones she made, and I might have gotten the jam/dough proportion a bit wrong in the majority of them, but they are edible. I just proved it to myself by consuming three, and I'm still alive and kicking. No indication of catastrophic bowel movements, either.   So I guess I'll wrap it up now. Oh, wait! I forgot to brag that I bough a new phone! I broke the old one, threw it against the wall... I'm pretty nervous some times. I decided to buy a Nokia again, going for the 1600 model this time. Not a very wise choice, since it lacks WAP capability, and it doesn't support some of the better ring tone formats... But it does look better than the 1101 model, has a color screen and lasts up to a week on one charge (I've checked!). Plus, at 79 Eur, it was relatively cheap.   And now for the linkage. Let's have some nice, artsy photography, eh? First off, meet Ragnar Axelsson & his works. Not bad. However, I like Arthur Steel's photography better. And hey, try out this interesting Russian blog, a bunch of people taking pictures of people on the metro. And to cap it all off, check out some pretty horrific illustrations by Paul Campion.	Us? Biased!? Never! Xmas tarts ready for the oven.
10.12.2005   Jeebus be praised! The long stretch of frustrating, un-balanced team work is finally over. We finally presented our company report yesterday, and let me tell you, it was a very stressful bit of public appearance. Our group was the last one of eight making the presentation, so we had to wait for about 2 hours before it was our turn. 2 hours of worried nausea is not my idea of fun. Didn't feel very healthy either. But in the end we pulled it off pretty well, although I did speak at machine-gun rate, as usual when nervous. In the end I ended up enjoying the presentation, or at least answering the audience's questions. The little attention-hungry extrovert inside me woke up, I guess.   Anyway, school has been pretty much the main thing, if not the only thing, that I was up to this past four days. I still have three exams to go before the xmas holidays. Russian, English Grammar and Excel. Of these three I am most worried about Excel. What with my inherent laziness and all that team crap (and, of course, BF2 and Civ IV...) I didn't study it at all. I now downloaded all the assignments and the Excel guide composed by our PC teacher, and even borrower an Excel book from library, but I still have to open the damn thing and do the assignments. Its going to be hell, I say. I hope I'll squeeze by with just enough points not to fail the course...   We also had a compulsory visit to the opera. I don't even remember what course it was for, but it cost me 22 Eur, and it was just before the Company Report presentation, so I would have much rather stayed at home and rehearsed it. The opera was called Andrea Chenier, and it was composed by Umberto Giordano. Not bad, I must say, but I have to admit I left half way through. I wouldn't have come home until midnight otherwise, and I needed to do my report stuff. However, I didn't do much. Instead, I woke up at six the next morning and only then started rehearsing the speech.   Anyway, its now Saturday, and my girlfriend has her little sister here for a sleepover. I still have no idea where to go tonight, bar or friend-wise. Nor do I want to stumble home dead drunk, and traumatize the little critter. And I can't couch it, since the child will be sleeping on it. So I guess it would be best if I didn't come home tonight... But where to go? So. See? That's the problem...   I guess I'll wrap it up for now. You'll get a few links, too. First, a few things that are said about the French... Yes, the cheese-eating, stinky surrender monkeys! And did you know that there is a Rock Paper Scissor Society? Shit, them crackers must be really bored... And to freak you out a bit, here's some "evil", disturbing art.	Lil' feller is out for me nuts! The Opera.
06.12.2005   Happy Independence Day, my dear kittlings! Today, on the 6th of December 1917, the Finnish Parliament approved, with votes 100-88, the proposal of independence from Russia given by the Senate on the 4th of December. Russia had slightly bigger things to worry about at the time, so uncle Lenin, with a magnanimous wave of a pudgy hand, granted Finland its independence.   So here I sit, watching the "Linnan juhlat", or the "Palace Ball", more officially known as the President's Independence Day Reception. Damn, that's some boring shit. There's a huge queue of people decked out in their finest party gear, and the president, our somewhat unimposing head of state Tarja Halonen (pictured here by some sixth graders), has to shake everybody's hand. Yay. All this to an accompaniment of dry commentary listing each persons name and possible accomplishments. And by "accomplishments" I don't mean heroic feats of, um, heroism. I mean, come on, they even invited the winner of Finland's first Idols competition, Hanna Pakarienen, for Jeebus' sake. Yawn. Prior to that I watched the extraordinarily lame military parade, consisting of a short procession of semi-obsolete armored vehicles crowned by two second-hand German Leopard 2 tanks, a gaggle of fat, untrained soldiers that didn't even bother keeping pace with each other, and two old MI-8 transport helicopters. And no sign of any kind of enthusiasm from the crowd. In my opinion, Independence Day should be held with plenty of fireworks, a proper parade with soldiers drilled to inhumanely perfect precision, banners, loud crowds... Anything, in fact, to spice up this darkest month of the year. But alas. In Finland, the Independence Day appears to be mourned rather than celebrated.   But no matter. Instead, I had something of a celebration myself. I found my nail scissors! My claws have been growing unhindered for about a month (or maybe a bit more?), making me hide my hands in public and not helping at all when it came to putting on socks or shoes. Well, no longer! I now am a proud owner of a pretty pile of stinky (don't you love the smell of freshly clipped nails?) nail clippings (enjoy a pretentious poem about nail clippings)!   In other news, after a major cleaning operation, we just put up our Christmas Tree. It is small, plastic and somewhat badgered. But it has inbuilt lights, a golden sparkly thingy and one red ball. It rocks...   This is it for today, enjoy your Independence Day, and the links I am about to bestow... First of all, a small list of really gross facts. Although the fact that girls fart more than guys should not be a secret to you if you've ever lived with  a girlfriend... After these gross "revelations", try some yummy funny food. Ok, and if you're stuck out in the wild with nothing but a chocolate bar and a can of coke, here's how to make fire with their aid. Ok, over and out.	Our glorious fake Christmas tree.
05.12.2005   Brr. I feel all freaked out today. I've been feeling somewhat confused yesterday as well, but today I feel freaked out. All weird, and I can't coherently explain it. Like, for some reason I can't make eye contact or concentrate on anything visual for a prolonged period of time. There is also that peculiar doomed feeling that anyone depressive should be familiar with... I also feel woozy and dizzy. Although those two probably mean the same thing. And I think I know why I feel all queered out. I have sort of been neglecting my medication, Fevarin (did you know that one of the names for it is Dumyrox? I feel slightly offended...) for a few days. This really feels like the mild withdrawal you get when abruptly coming off them. Add to that the drinking, and hey! There you have it! So I guess I'd better remember to take them buggers today.   Anyway, remember my previous post? The one below this one? About me having a nerdy night in? Well nuh-uh! I was called out in the end, around 11pm, by a huge bunch of old friends. And a good thing, too. Even though my BF2 session was progressing nicely... In any case, I missed the last metro, and attempted to catch the bus to town. That would have taken another half an hour of waiting, so I decided to grab a cab... So yes, I arrived in unaccustomed style. My student aid money was about to come in, and I had some cash left over from the previous dole, so hell, why not? I was not disappointed. We were first holed up in Hakaniemi at a place I don't remember the name of, then that place closed. So we moved a little closer to town. Till that place, and I don't remember what it was called either, closed too. By that time I've already had a few preemptive pukes, so as to make space for a few more brewskies and to take down the level of intoxication somewhat. Well, then that place closed too... And it was time for the closest last resort, a pub on town called Dubliner, open till 4 am. By that time I was already quite far gone, so there is very little recollection of anything. I do remember trying to catch a cab, and then, when that failed, catching a nightline bus. I don't remember the bus ride, except that I started feeling really sick at one point, and deposited the (predominantly liquid) contents of my stomach on the floor of the bus. That did not make me any friends in the packed bus... There was a particularly upset couple that were indignantly exclaiming their amazement at the fact that I just puked in the bus. And I didn't even splash them! Can you believe some people? It's like it was their first bus ride in Helsinki, Finland, a place so bad they wrote about it on BBC, for fuck's sake. They even went forward to the bus driver, and complained to him (he naturally shrugged it off, being a pro at delivering awfuly drunk young people home)! They thought I was passed out, but, after another burst of self-righteous indignation I commented something to the extent that there is no point of making all this fuss, called them stupid and inquired if they ever drank before, and finished it off with a somewhat apologetic, and very annoyed, "What can I do about it?". When they realized that I can hear them the bitching subsided. Weird fucking sheep. As if I could lift my body from the seat to save myself, not to mention fight, at that point... As they left the bus, a stop before mine, they cast dirty glances at me and shook their heads, muttering. I found enough energy to give them the finger. You should have seen the girlfriend's face! She, no doubt emboldened by the fact that it was their stop, flipped me one back with an inhumanely rage-distorted face only women seem to be capable of! I went to all the trouble of lifting my other arm and flipping them another bird. As they passed on the outside of the window, I waited till their heads were level with me, and slammed the glass with both my hands still giving them the one fingered salute and pulled an awful drunk grimace. They almost fell over into the bushes by the road from such an unexpected, high-energy outburst. It took me 45 very cold and stumbling minutes to walk home from the bus stop.   Next morning I was very, very hungover. That made two of us, once I picked up my girlfriend from her friends place. She stank of curry. Really, really bad. She ate at a kebab the night before, the same kebab where she probably lost her purse, so she was now sweating it out of her every pore. For the next two days. We went shopping for a nice greasy hangover lunch, and I was "enjoying" my usual hungover confusion. First of all I went into an elevator and for a scary moment couldn't remember what to do next. After we shopped it was time to drive home. I stood by the car and to my horror couldn't find the car keys... Until I checked the car. Yep. The lights were on, and it was beeping for me to remove the key. We were shopping for half an hour... At least I didn't leave the engine on!   Anyway, I think this is quite enough for one post, or it'll lose what little readability it still has. So now the links... Let's give you a few games, eh? Try Gravity, it's like moon lander but more fun, I think. Then there's the obligatory racing game. Not bad. I got to 1806 points and then got bored trying. Ok, then. Now, if you want something real to play with, then try making these exotic paper planes. And then, what the heck, 99 weird images.	A moment later the paperbag's bottom fell out, killing 5 bottles and showering the vicinities with deadly glass shrapnel. I flipped.
02.12.2005   See, I didn't forget the blog for a month again. It's only been a few days! In the end, the dire predictions that I made in my previous entry (I.e. "I'm Fucked") did come to pass, after a fashion. I was somewhat badgered and foxed by my team mates, and was given a stern and emotional talking to, but we all came out feeling better, in the end. I also managed to wing the exam in a wonderful fashion, with only a couple of hours of study. The questions turned out to be just the ones I have studied for. Although I guess I shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch, as I only get my grade around Christmas.   Oh yeah, today was also the day we were supposed to turn in our company report. And some of our team mates are busily making last minute checks and alternations. They are a tough bunch to work with indeed, working with some of them is as patience-consuming as working with autistic children. Micro-management and runaway perfectionism don't help much either. I guess we are not a very balanced team...   Plus, today I had my Systematic Information Gathering exam. Piece of cake, but still took up vital time that could have been used making the presentation instead. Besides, my girlfriends high-school graduation party is today, so here I am, sitting in a suit, blogging while she fiddles with her hair, dress, face, you name it. She is later going out with her mates, while I move on so as not to spoil her (and, more importantly, my!) evening. I have not the foggiest about what I'll do today. I mean, it's Friday! I should go out, but my heart keening after Battlefield 2 and its sibling, BF2 Special Forces. But no. I will have plenty of time to waste online during the weekend, and a couple of days after it too, since it is the Finnish Independence Day on Tuesday and thus we're free from school as well as work. Ok, but now I gotta go, I'll finish up when I come back from the ceremony...   Hoy, me back. The ceremony was boring, but that was to be expected. We first arrived at a completely wrong place, only to see a note on the door that the ceremony would be held at a hall in the main building of the University of Helsinki. A nice, big, posh hall. With gilded thingamajigs and pillars. I had my graduation ceremony held there too, back in 2001... So we raced there, secretly glad that we didn't have to listen to some of the opening speeches. Even 20 minutes late, though, we still got our fair share of dull rhetorics. Then there was singing, more speeches, some piano playing, more speeches, the graduates got their shit thrust into their hands in an alphabetical order, the obligatory Gaudeamus Igitur, some more singing and piano-playing, and it was thankfully all over. Then there was the get your picture taken with your fav teachers bit, and it was time to be off. I drove girlies mom and sister home, and girlie went off to party with her mates. I bought a twelve-pack, since the wine store was closed, and will probably play Battlefield 2 and drink.   So hey, that was that then. Lemme give up my linkage for today... Hmm. Well, here's a cool couple of videos. Commercials in fact. But funny ones. Click the upper two on the Blaupunkt's site... The characters are called Benny and Bunny, btw... Sweet! Oh yeah, on a more boring note, the ten crappiest gadgets of the year. To continue with the boring theme, you can now download high quality scans of 40's movie actors. I don't know who'd want to, though. Then there's the offensive yet funny (and really ineptly designed) site. Ho ho ho! Anyway, I'm off to wet my throat and practice my trigger finger.	Who buys all that shit..? Check out the kid in the lower right corner...

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