28.04.2005   Meh. I just came back from work, where I diligently checked some e-mails and wasted about 2 hours, and used up 2 more surfing the net, getting caught by my superiors... Worse than that, I got caught by the friggin CEO giving a tour of the company to some VIPs from Nokia. Yes, that Nokia.   So you can probably understand me being somewhat unimpressed with myself when I caught the bus back home. Work satisfaction? Pride? Phah! Bollocks. I suck giant King-Kong cock... So that was that for today. I came home, and hit the bottle. Case solved! Sigh. Today certainly sucked, at least compared to yesterday.   Ah, yesterday, yesterday... Yesterday I finally dusted off my good old bike, "Dipshit". He is actually a Kuwahara model, but has been called "Dipshit" for most of his life, due to the inefficient "GripShift" gears on his handlebars. But still, we went through quite a lot together, Dipshit and I. We've seen a hundreds of miles flow under us, in Åland, Gotland and Finland. Now Dipshit is relegated to a somewhat more minor role, like being a shop shuttle and a convenient gym transport.   So it probably did us both good when we went on a longish ride in the hills right by our flat. Thing is, most people that live in the suburbs don't really know their surroundings. Especially if they own a car. The City spends millions of our tax euros every year to enhance the surroundings of its citizens every year, yet most of us hardly ever notice it. It's the most vociferous, like skaters of grannies, that get all the attention. So the noisiest 10% of the community pushes change through. Changes that the majority of us don't even notice. At least not until we take that little bit of extra effort to get to know our own neighborhood, kind of like I did yesterday.   And that kind of effort can be pretty rewarding, you know. I found my surroundings to be quite amusing, even picturesque. And that's Kontula, the stinky & unruly armpit of Helsinki, I'm talking about here.   In any case, biking for real turned out to be much harder than biking on one of them fancy gym bike machines. Might seem like a no-brainer to you, but to a guy who hasn't touched a bike since last summer it came as a bit of a surprise. I was out of breath and on the brink of a heart attack after a meagerly 20 minutes of hill-climbing and ramp jumping. I think I shall include biking in my weekly list of exercises from now on.   Oh yeah, as I was biking to the gym yesterday my girlfriend discovered that there was (and still is...) a gaping hole on the bottom of my slacks. Much to the her (rather loud) amusement, of course. However, I still proceeded with my workout. I've been working out in these same pants since the beginning, so I often must have presented quite a ludicrous figure at the gym... But I guess I do that in any case.   Ah, here I am, wasting valuable web space again! I think I'll just give you the links, and the opinions that go with them. Lately my attention has been captured by the events in the Gaza strip. I never thought that a unilateral pullout from Gaza was a good idea, and here's an article that serves only to reinforce my opinion, an article that pretty much states the obvious, that Jihad is set to resume in Gaza. I mean, honor murders (I refuse to somehow lessen their gravity by calling them "killings") are already pretty much de rigueur. Anyone really surprised here? But that, of course, is just another piece of evil Zionist propaganda. And I'm an active agent of Mossad, naturally. Look no further than this article to look at other examples of Muslim Mythology up close. Some very sick, hate mongering shit right there... But such is the face of political Islam, a face that reminds me very much of fascism. Yet our trusty lefties continue to protect, nay, to exalt it! Let us all respect disrespect and tolerate intolerance! What gives, especially what with the widely known and acknowledged abuse of womens rights? I'd like to know that as well...	Me & Dipshit at a Kontula... Thingy.
25.04.2005   I think I will start with a meteorological theme again, just to put it to rest for good. The second Ice Age that threatened to engulf Finland for the past week has finally come to an end. The sun is now shining, the birds singing and the trees are starting to push out all manner of green stuff that I think will eventually turn into leaves.   This might have been the best of times to finally wash and paint my boat, but alas! I have no car. Its banged up right front door is getting replaced... I just hope that the insurance company bought my elaborate story on how it so totally wasn't my fault, and how I wasn't even there. Anyway, I wonder if there is a penalty for lying to both the cops and the insurance company..?   Oh man, I just re-read the previous sentence... Did I really just type that? Anyway, if I don't update the blog for a while, know that my PC has been confiscated and auctioned off to pay the legal fees and I myself am lounging in a five-star Finnish prison, watching my own telly in my very own cell and finishing (well, starting, to be perfectly honest) my higher education.   But enough. Inshallah, as they say. It's been what, 3 days since the last update? Why can't I properly remember what went on? I don't recall drinking that much... The only thing that sort of imprinted itself on my consciousness is the little party I attended on Saturday night. Drank a 12-pack, bonded with old buddies, saw people that I haven't seen for ages (and was mildly surprised that they still remembered my face), and went home at what must have been 6am. The "coming home" bit is worth a separate mention. I used 3 different methods of public transportation, and fell asleep on all of them. I remember waking up with a snort from my own thunderous snores on the train, completely unaware of my geographical location. Luckily, the end station was precisely where I was headed. It was then time to take a metro... You can guess what happened there. Yes, more snorty snoring. I was gently nudged awake by the driver, once again coming to with a snort and a general inability to focus, at the end station. Except that this time it wasn't the intended destination. So more waiting, falling asleep standing, and another metro ride, where I fell asleep but miraculously woke up at the right stop! Except that I then proceeded to forget the harbor book I dragged along to plan the route of our summer jaunt to Sweden with some friends. I left it on the seat, and as the doors slid close, realization dawned. I tried to kick myself in the head, and yelped something in impotent rage, flailing my puny fists in the air...   Today I got a new one. If the people at the lost and found department receive the one I lost, I'll sell it. Anyway, gotta run, as I am about to meet a friend long neglected. And one of the cats just took a monstrously stinky dump.   So, links then, I guess. First, read the Definitive Penis Size Survey, and put aside your fears of not "measuring up". Or not, depending on your penis size, of course. Then we shall explore the limits of elasticity of a rather different kind of genital organ. Without further ado, I give you... A vaginally inserted football! Before you get all excited, let me tell you that it's an American football. Yeah, I know. Anyone could do that. Now a European football would have been a whole different ballgame... Well, there's a challenge to you, my readers. Catch your girlfriend, sedate her (optional, but if yours is anything like my tall Aryan thoroughbred with child-bearing hips, be prepared for a struggle), stuff her full of footballs, and send me the pictures! Easy! Best picture gets, uh, an Award. My e-mail can be found at the bottom of the page. Toodle-pip!	Rather pretty, huh?
22.04.2005   It's been snowing for three days now. Three days of veritable blizzards interrupted by patches of bleary sunshine. Bizarre weather. Lets hope it changes soon.   Otherwise all is as it always is. I might have had something to write about today, and might have even had some cool pictures to put up, but circumstances and coincidences conspired against me. See, I was in town, getting a harbor book for the Aland region, when a pair of pole-walkers arrived by at the stairs of the parliament house. They walked all the way from Oulu, and that's no mean feat, as Oulu is about 550Km from Helsinki as the pigeon flies. It took them two weeks... Anyway, I heard that a small ceremony was held at the spot, just as I was driving away from town! So scratch that.   Another event that I missed was a tram accident. Some old lady was crossing the rails just as a tram happened to go by. Squish! Anyway, she survived. So far. But that's not the point. Point is I've lost a perfect photo opportunity! Old lady's gently steaming guts all over the pavement, entrails wrapped around tram wheels... Awesomely photogenic stuff! Or it would have been. Sigh.   Instead I came home, and went to the gym. I'm still sore, and very tired. And where the fuck is my six-pack? I've been to the gym for a grand total of 15 times, and I still am flabby where I shouldn't be! I wish I could simply afford a liposuction... Although, according to this survey, it's the deadliest surgical procedure in the States. Maybe I'll just go on working out.   Right. I think I'll go play some BF Vietnam now. And leave you to the linkses. And hey, since you obviously have free time on your hands, why not sign a petition against religious apartheid? It's a good cause. And just out of the blue, some World War I photos. In color! It's seems easier to comprehend the reality of it in color. Still, they were silly looking old chaps... And speaking of silly, here is another marvelous ejaculation of Japanese genius. I give you... Motocompo!	Spring. Yay.
20.04.2005   Well shave my legs and call me grandpa..! It's friggin snowing! In great friggin billowing clouds. And it's almost May outside. I still have to wash & paint my boat, dammit. I could barely believe my eyes when a few solitary snow flakes drifted down from the bleary concrete heavens. Unfortunately, just a few hours later I was watching them same heavens erupt into a full-fledged snowstorm. The end result is that the view outside our window is pretty fucking wintry. I've lived in the northern latitudes my whole life, and I've never learned to love the local weather. Hell, I don't even appreciate it. It must be genetic, although I'm not even sure that's possible. Something in me yearns for the warmer climes, even though I do have a slight tendency to faint in temperatures over +30c. Mayhap one day I'll abandon these unfriendly northern climes and migrate down south, where the sea is warm and girls are dark & hairy. Here's hoping...   Oh yeah, NPR kindly reminded me today that it's Stoner's Day. It's the twentieth of April. 4.20. Get it? Yeah, me neither. But here's an article clearing the whole thing up. It's origins, meaning, urban legends spawned by it... Frankly, I don't get it. Grown men, or at least men above voting age, all excited over just another chance to huff it up. I do understand the eight-graders though. The whole weed scene is so cool and rebellious, plus you can use a code-word for it! Wow.   Anyway, my mind is dried up, I think it's time to go to bed. Not before a little linkdump, though. First of all, look at this freaky gameroom. The person who lives there must be one fucked up... I don't even know what to call him. Loser? Freak? Serial-killer material, in any case. I am also willing to bet that he's a regular at this imaginary girlfriend site.Oh, and speaking of girls... Let me introduce you to Ms. Amy Sue Cooper. You should now play a game to curb your masturbatory instincts. Time to finish my beer and hit the sack...	Surprising architecture near my office.
19.04.2005   Fucking-a! Am I glad that I dragged my fat old arse to the gym today... I almost didn't. Came home, collapsed on the bed, and started (well, continued really) reading "Travels With Charley - in Search of America" by John Steinbeck, a non-fiction travel book. I didn't have a clue that it was the Mr. Steinbeck, a Nobelist and Pulitzer prize winner who wrote "Grapes of Wrath". Them's the grapes I've never read, though. Probably not my type of book... I followed Mr. Steinbeck on his travels through USA of the early 60's, and was wondering what he'd make of the world today. So weird, to stop and think that the guy died in 1968, and here I am, looking at the world through his long-decayed eyes, almost feeling what he did. Death is so... Unfair, somehow. No wonder people think up afterlives and various places to go to after they die. And what about the deities to blame or suck up to in vain hope of And yet, I think, they know, deep down inside, that it that isn't quite the way it's going to go down in the end... Hence all the trappings of organized religion, all the rituals... Boiled down to a simple, visceral fear of death. Hell, how did I end up writing on this subject?   But here's something to cheer this piece up: I got my boat place today! It took the people at Helsinki's Department of Sports over a week to assign me a place. Well, no wonder really, this is their busiest time. Anyway, I got the place in east Helsinki, next to Puotila, not far from my place. The price? 215,90Eur a season, electricity and water on the pier included... And I think the season stretches from when the ice melts (around April) to something like November. Awesome. Now I just have to wash and paint the boat, and hire the transfer crew to drag it 30Km to the shore. With my luck it'll probably topple from the truck and dash itself to pieces against the asphalt...   And hey, whaddaya know? My little bit of drunken blogging, concerning my long lost buddy, yielded results... Or not the blogging bit per se. Rather the electronic footprint a mile wide left behind by the aforementioned buddy that allowed me to track down his current e-mail address. So yeah, now all that's left is to go to St.Pete's and catch up on what's been going on for the past few years. Except that I have to get my workplace to foot the visa & traveling expenses first. Preferably.   So now that we've established that Internet and drunk blogging do wonders, it's time to move on. How about those links that I promised I'd deliver for the past few days? The links some of you have been whining about?   I almost forgot... My dear friend Supp got engaged! I think it's time to give him some friendly advice... Here, enjoy the 100 Dumping lines! And, not really related, here's a bit of Japanese insanity: them silly yellow midgets stuffed a phone booth full of nekkid ladies. My, how un-hygienic! Right... Hey, since one of the pics today features some nice clouds, here's a link to Cloud Appreciation Society. Some pretty dramatic weather photos there. Want some more photography? I thought not. But you're getting some anyway. Panoramic views of St.Petersburg. Enjoy! Oh, and here's Lucy. All five galleries of her...  In case you want more girls, here's a diagram of a Goth chick. Not that good, that one. And hey, I've had this song stuck in my head from an awesome Adidas commercial for a few days now... Gives me goosebumps. You can listen to the song here (Sung by Karen O, composed by Squeak E. Clean) and watch the commercial here. It's the full version, as opposed to the 5 second clip shown on Finnish tv. Yawn. Time for bed. Stupid work tomorrow.	This glacier stone holds the Kontula founding book. Weird. The pier my boat willl grace.
16.04.2005   My dear me. It's fucking Friday. Again. Do you remember them days when Fridays were few and far in between? Fridays... So pregnant with promise. So ripe with excitement and anticipation. At least I still somewhat remember the illusion of business that made Fridays seem worth their weight in gold, back in the day.   This Friday found me playing "Heroes Of Might & Magic III" with a friend of mine. A bold, new, fantasy world, unblemished and pure, with everything to give and little to ask in return, other than your undivided attention. Sure, it's an escape route. The best ever devised, barring drugs and suicide.   However, my bliss was disturbed by another friend stopping by and making a different kind of a proposition... A proposition that involved lots of vodka, some sausage and optional beer. The usual. After being made fun of for spending our Friday night playing games, we caved in. The night went on, uncaring, but instead of "HOMM III" it was now Russian stand-up comedy time. Comedy washed down by vodka. Cliche, sure. Any less good for that? No.   Soon it was time to go home, as our company began to unravel... Swallow that last shot of vodka, drink that last bottle of beer, and go home. How unfortunate.   However, I do have lots to do today, and by today I mean Saturday. I have to buy antifouling paint for my boat, and maps of Swedish coast. Plus all sorts of other stuff...   Oh, and here's the thing that made me very sad. I looked for a friend on the net. For an old friend. Nor was it just any old acquaintance, either. It was an old soul mate of mine that just seized any communication. And I still have no idea why. I sent him an e-mail. Let's see what it'll bring. Oh, and his name is Alexander Gronsky. Or Александр Гронский in cyrillics. He is an awesome photographer. in fact, here is a gallery of his. Just some of his works... Not his best, by far.  Sasha, if you read this, and I am sure you will, being an artiste that probably googles his name once a week, please contact me. Even if just for old times sake.   Oh, and having googled Alexander Gronsky's work, I find that he's been making some shitty music videos, of the "Bush = monkeyhitler" kind. Shame on you, Mr. Gronsky! One would have though you'd have more artistic integrity than that... But I guess lasting friendships are made only to disappoint, and eventually die... Like love.   Oh boy. I think I better go sleep. Right now I feel like drinking a bucket of vodka, spurned on by nostalgia and sadness... Maybe tomorrow? Who knows.	Our Cliche.
13.04.2005   After the excessive excitement of the past few days, it's hard to work up the will to write about anything mundane in the blog... But write I must. Despite the fact that I'm feeling like I'm about to fall asleep... And it's only bloody noon!   The day before yesterday I discovered a red backpack in my car, apparently forgotten by one of our course members I gave a lift to. So yesterday I visited the guy, with my girlfriend, at a restaurant he owns downtown. I made him a compilation CD with all the pictures I've taken during the course, and returned his backpack. In turn, he gave us a couple of free drinks... It turns out that he's flying to Stockholm later this week. Or is going to try to... This guy was the worst of all the course members, when it came to fear of flying. He hasn't flown for 25 years, and He is in his 50's, that type of unfit 50 something you see on the street every day, puffing along on the brink of a heart attack with a cigarette in his mouth. Oh, and how I craved that one illicit cigarette! It's been almost 6 months since my last ciggie. How I longed to inhale the lovely velvet smoke once more, wash it down with some beer, sharply inhale again and listen for the crackle of the tip, burning in the surrounding silence... Nobody would have ever known, right? Wrong. I would have.   Where the fuck am I going with all this? I don't know. You tell me. Would you rather hear of how we shopped for summer shoes for girlie? I thought not. It's probably enough that I took some pics from the shoe store. The sales people looked at me like I was some freaky shoe-fetishist, although that didn't do much to discourage me.   Ah, I think I'll go read now. I am strangely tired, exhausted almost, and I blame the spring. I will have to go pay off the rest of the money I owe for my boat later today, and that will make me the (somewhat poor) owner for real, completely and irrevocably.   So let's do the link thing. Let's see how things are going in the Gaza strip! Hamas have started a "vice and virtue commando" - program to help uphold Islamic values (link goes to playandlearn.org, a catechism for children written by Muslims for Muslims. It even features an Islamic coloring book and other material for children). That sounds lovely. First thing they do? Kill an immoral woman who dared appear in public with her fiance. Allahu akbar! And then some more on the glorious life of women under Islam's loving care... In "moderate" Indonesia. And remember, boys and girls, this lovely vision of paradise is increasingly supported by our enlightened European neighbors! Once again, Allahu Akbar!	Shiny shoes. Not my style, though.
11.04.2005   Well, that's it... Today was the third, and last, day of my Finnair aviophobia course. It was a blast, that much I can say. And the last day had its fair share of some very intense and exciting moments. However, the million dollar question remains: did I actually get on board a real plane? Stay tuned for an exciting conclusion to this three day epic at the end of this post!   I guess I should keep you in suspense by first going over all the fun things we did on our third day of the course. That morning we assembled at the training center already by 08:45, and the change that came over the participants was clearly visible. Gone were the smiles and carefree banter. The atmosphere in the class had taken a definite plunge... And it infected even those with a lesser degree of aviophobia. Everywhere you looked you could see people fidgeting and glancing around nervously.   Things didn't improve much when we got into our cars and drove to the Business Terminal, a small terminal intended for private & corporate jets, right next to a VIP terminal used by visiting (and departing) dignitaries. Quite a dismal little place, situated in rather ignoble surroundings, like logistics companies and small airline offices. Anyway, our next task was to board an ATR-72 and taxi around the runway, with one aborted take-off run thrown in for good measure! This was a first time I've sat in a turboprop since around 1987, when, as I recall, our family flew from Sochi to some place beyond a mountain range on an An-24. I've always had an affinity for turboprops & piston engine aircraft. It might be because that's the kind you get to fly most in various military sims, or because they exude a certain conservative charm, using a method of propulsion easier understood than a jet turbine...   So, after being introduced to the walrus of a captain and his very handsome (in a fighter-jock way) co-pilot, in we went, into this tiny (compared to the gigantic MD-11 we examined yesterday) plane, with its tiny seats. The plane shook as the door was opened, turning some of us a few shades paler. We sat down and strapped ourselves in while the captain outlined the coming "flight" to us. Then, while the engines were starting up, our shrink started us on a relaxation procedure. But I couldn't give a flying fuck about the whole relaxation thing! It was just too exciting! The engines revved up, and, as I was sitting right by the engines, sounded way louder than anything you get on a jet! We then started taxiing, and I was too busy soaking in the feeling of raw power and listening to my mp3 player to listen to the shrink. We taxied around for a while, before coming to a full stop at the start of a runway. The captain warned us that we were about to execute an aborted take-off. I knew what that entailed, but many of our course members did not. Almost immediately after the announcement the engines revved up to full throttle, and before we knew it, we were screaming along at about 100 knots, or about 185Kmh (according to the captain himself)! I enjoyed it all immensely! But before I could get used to the speed, I was almost ripped off my seat by violent deceleration as the captain slammed the brakes! We stopped in 300m. I would have wanted to do it again, but judging by the ashen faces all around me, I was the only one. So we taxied back to the Business Terminal.   After that it was time for some flight theory again, and a group "therapy" session. The moment of the real test was fast approaching. After the group therapy we went to the flight control center, which is not the same thing as the Tower. There we observed the work of the "tin pushers", or air traffic controllers. By that time I was already so preoccupied with my morbid thoughts about the upcoming flight that I couldn't have cared less. See, up to the real flight everything was just an exciting "simulation", and just "dangerous" enough to be fun.   Everything after the visit to the flight control was a bit of a blur, I barely remember visiting the meteorological center. After the met. center, we waddled over to the departure hall... And that's where I confronted the head shrink and told her that I will not be going on the flight. She was willing to listen, and did not try to "stop" me, instead just expressing her hope that I would reconsider and join the course on its graduation flight. I told her I would consider it, but secretly I already pretty much made my mind up. I was not about to go anywhere.   I was walking towards the terminal when the co-pilot that was to accompany us on the flight approached me. He also didn't actively try to stop me from leaving, but also told me he hoped I'd re-consider. Deep into my troubled thoughts, I went into a bar and had my first beer... In the end, after calling girlie, dad (thanks dad, calling me a moron really helped!), and mom, I decided to give it a shot. After all, I could always bail, even during the taxiing stage! I speak from experience...   So I went on board of our A319-112, board number OH-LVA. Somehow, after I made the decision to fly, my mind lifted a little bit. I was no longer as afraid as I was at the terminal. We started taxiing towards the runway, and my fear increased with every inch we covered. Then we stopped. I heard the familiar whine of the jet engines get progressively louder as we revved for take-off... Suddenly we were running at full speed down the bumpy runway, and, just like that, we were airborne! I can't say I was thrilled at all. In panic, I grabbed at my neighbor's hand, a hand that belonged to the co-pilot! He proved to be a great comfort during the take-off, the phase that scares me the most. After about five very tense minutes, I started to calm down... And had my 2nd beer! Afterwards, all the course mates (and there were a few tears of fear during the take-off) saluted each other with raised glasses of champagne! I enjoyed the rest of the flight enormously. I got to visit the cockpit, just as we were flying over north Gotland and Gotska Sandö, and later I got to see the island of Öland, where I intend to sail with my old mate in the summer...   Very soon (the flight lasted 1 hour 35 minutes all in all) it was time to land. The stewardesses barely had the time to serve us a meal, which I couldnt get down in all the excitement, and stow away the trollies, when we were descending at quite a rate! I didn't mind the landing one bit...   Once on the ground, we only had 30 minutes at the airport, so I used those up buying tax-free candy and batteries for my camera, as I foolishly took the wrong (i.e. empty!) ones in the morning and was unable to shoot the whole day (that's why the pics start from Copenhagen)! That mission accomplished, I ran back to the plane, as I was already 5 minutes late. The flight back went even better than the flight there, as was to be expected. I enjoyed myself pretty much all the way through it, and snapped a few good shots of downtown Helsinki, too...   Then we were on the ground, and it was time to say goodbye. I got my diploma, hugged all of the support crew and shook a lot of hands. As I was a bit tipsy, I had to cal my dad to pick me up from the airport, and told him to bring his girlfriend to take care of my car. I must say that I was pretty happy, and it wasn't just the alcohol speaking!   But enough. I think I wrote a bit too much already, and you'd have to be quite an avid reader to get through the whole entry... So hey, how about some links, eh? And it's about time I've cleaned up my backlog... So check out these views of earth at night! And, for no reason what so ever, here's a great article on how they make motherboards at a Gigabyte factory in Taiwan. Great stuff, very informative, with a ton of pics. And, uh, try out this guide if you want to learn how to make one very pretty cup of coffee!	Our plane, OH-LVA. A view of the Oresund strait and the Oresund bridge! Gliding over downtown Helsinki. Firmly back on terra firma.
09.04.2005   What a day! Jeez! Wowza! Words fail me, as you can probably see. It is (well, was) the second day of my very intense Finnair Aviophobia course, and I've done some pretty friggin cool stuff today, by my standards. So let's re-cap...   So, the second day of our course started off with a meeting in our usual class room at the Finnair Flight Training Center. We kicked off with a lecture on meteorology and various weather phenomena, and it's effect on the aircraft. We learned some pretty cool stuff on jet streams, weather fronts and thunderstorms. Nothing really all that new, but some interesting details here and there, plus our lecturer showed us the information in the form that it is given to the pilots, with all the CAT (clear air turbulence) and ordinary turbulence warnings, speeds and directions of jet streams et cetera... Afterwards we went off to try out the simulators!   And that's where the only disappointment of the day occurred. We were only taxied around the runway a bit in the simulator. There was no flying, and the hydraulic legs were disengaged... Otherwise it was an unforgettable experience. Here I was, in a highly sophisticated piece of hardware costing 50,000,000 Eur, trying to overcome my fear of flight! The simulator was not as graphically flashy as Microsoft Flight Simulator 2004, for instance, but it was good enough to be visually convincing.   Afterwards it was time for some more group "therapy", and an overview of the homework assignment, a questionnaire about stress and your susceptibility to it. That lasted about half an hour, and afterwards it was time for lunch! It was free and very, very good, consisting of yellow rice and chicken breast in bernaise sauce, with the catering being done by Amica.   After getting stuffed to the gills with delicious lunch it was time for some vigorous exercise... We assembled at the emergency procedure training room, a place where various crew members train to combat fire and preform emergency egress procedures. We then proceeded to learn how to open various plane doors (A310/320, Boeing 757, MD 11) in case of an emergency, how to inflate and slide down the emergency slides (they also double as life rafts in case of ditchin in the water), how to act in case of an evacuation order... Then it was time for a short but surprisingly scary "flight" in the passenger cabin simulator, complete with take-offs and landings. I must admit that I was rather scared there for a while, especially during take-off, as the noise and the hydraulic action were pretty impressive. Afterwards we were introduced to the fire fighting "simulator", basically a classroom with half of it glassed off and lined with stainless steel, looking not unlike a Texan execution chamber, where future (and current) crew members, from the lowly stewardess to the lofty captain, learn (and refresh their knowledge of) how to combat different types of fire on board an airplane.   But the best was yet to come. After the whole emergency training thing we drove off to the maintenance halls! Man, them fuckers were huge! In the halls we got to crawl pretty much all over the aircrafts, to the annoyance of some technicians, and I got to take some unique pictures, and explored places off limits to an ordinary passenger. After looking over the exterior of a few planes we went inside an MD-11 that was having an overhaul, and I got to sit in the captain's seat! Heh... Then we got to know the A319, pretty thoroughly too, since we were first given a tour of the stewardesses realm, and afterwards a tour of the cockpit and other more or less vital places. We even had a few relaxation exercises on board the plane, just to get us used to the surroundings, since we are flying a A319 to Copenhagen tomorrow...   Yes. That's right, it's tomorrow. Already... Feels like it's a bit too soon, but I guess there is only so much you can do on the ground to combat aviophobia. We will take off at 15:35 and come back at 19:10, giving us about 30min to "enjoy" the Copenhagen airport and its duty-free shops. I am really nervous about the flight, I must say... Sigh. We'll see what'll come out of it. In case of my untimely demise, I bequeath the contents of my savings account and my laptop to my girlfriend. My friend from the north can have my PC. There, my property is now pretty much divided, except for my boat that has not yet been completely paid off. I can now die at peace, secure within the knowledge that my earthly belongings will be divided amongst the deserving.   I think that will be it for today. It's already after midnight, so I'd better finish up putting together my mp3 player's playlist and head off to bed. And I guess I'd better stop drinking them beers. If I'll survive the flight (and I still have some doubts about that), you'll be able to read a detailed account of my experiences late tomorrow evening, or then on Monday at the latest. And I don't feel like leaving any links for you to enjoy, either. Good night everyone, and let us hope for the best, huh?	Emergency exit slide. Fun! Aww. Tis' pure beauty, like a blooming lotus. Don't step on it, my kittlings...
08.04.2005   Today was the day I finally did what I should have done years ago... You might remember me speaking of doing the "Aviophobia" course thing, in order to try and get rid of my irrational fear of flying, once and for all. Well, today was the first day of the weekend-long course organized by Finnair 3 to 4 times a year since 1992. Our group consists of 18 people, which is the largest group the course has had to date, consisting of 14 women and 4 men, a bit more disproportionate than usual. The average age of our group is a bit above 40, I think. Our youngest member is about 16, while our oldest must be pushing her early 70's. The youngest ever was 14 and the oldest a bit over 70, I think.   It is basically a course that starts with an explanation of how safe planes really are, some simple breathing exercises and the like, and an interview by a shrink that specializes in aviophobia. However, it doesn't stop there. We have full use of the excellent training facilities, including the simulators of all kinds. And eventually, on our last day, we will hold a course flight to Copenhagen(it must have been about 10 years since I've last been there). Today our program consisted of a simplified "physics of flight" lecture, a short overview of a typical airplane's construction, and, the coolest of all, a visit to a "passenger cabin simulator", a piece of a DC-9 fuselage mounted on hydraulic legs. Even that got me somewhat uncomfortable.   Yeah. So ain't that swell. And that's the problem. I have no problem talking about my fear of flying, nor do I have any excessive problems with holding training sessions in a simulator. It's the bloody real flight that I have to deal with on the 10th that's giving me the creeps. I've been so nervous about doing this course that I've actually had one of my rare "flight-themed" nightmares the night before I was to have the first "lesson".   In any case, I'll now retreat to bed before facing my personal hell again next morning. And you get some linkses... First of all, check out these awesome applets. Then try to hold off a horde of cute alien invaders. If that's not up your alley, then play with this weird interactive buddy...	Inside the winged beast.
05.04.2005   Yawn! Didn't go to work today. Not really on purpose or anything like that, just forgot to put my alarm clock on, and eventually woke up around 9:30. Damn! Ok, that "damn" wasn't very sincere, I guess. Thing is, I was (am?) a chronic... What do you call it, a "class-skipper"? As in "a person that skips class", not as in "a person that skippers a class"! I think this affliction also classifies as a "chronic lying" disorder (although I never saw it as that), as I just found out on the net. It all started off in 4th grade of the Maunula Public School, my first stint at school since I left the USSR... It wasn't easy. And I don't mean scholastically, no. I was far ahead of the average Finnish kid in math and physics (which they didn't even study in 4th grade! Hmph!). It was the whole problem of being the only Russian (hell, the only foreign kid as well) in school that presented an unsurpassable challenge. Fucking morons. They made my life at school a living hell. So I just stopped showing up. And I liked it. Total freedom! I still remember the feeling you got as you went to a mall or just for a walk instead of going to school... It was completely inimitable. That feeling of total, thoughtless and utterly carefree, beautiful freedom.   That addictive feeling stayed with me, all the way through upper primary school, and high school. It almost proved to be the ruin of me. However, I was a good enough student to complete that phase of my education even with a list of absence six feet long. Unfortunately, my lust for illicit freedom proved to be fatal when it came to higher education...   Enough about that sad, sad subject. That's all just so much water beneath the bridge, and all I can do now is change the future. Or attempt to...   Today proved to be fine enough. First of all I had a lovely 3 hour nap on the couch with little Nuni (who kept waking up and trying to lick my nose off). Then I finally sorted out my mp3 collection, deleting the crap I never listen to and properly arranging the crap that I do listen to, bringing my active playlist to 1050 songs. After that I went through my download directories. You know, those swollen, messy dumps labeled "Download" or "Net", or, in my case, "Leech". Anyway, I deleted at least two gigs of stuff. About time, too... One of these days I'll have to go through my "pr0n" directory. Now that will be a challenge... That directory hasn't been cleaned up since 1997!   So yeah... This was one day "Well spent". Now I think I'll dump some scientific links. First of all, a list of 13 things that don't make sense in our Universe. Except that number 4 on that list, the homeopathy study by Madeleine Ennis, has been debunked by a BBC study already. I could never really understand how anybody could put their faith in Homeopathy. But then again, many people believe in a supernatural creature(s) that sees everything they do and that will judge them after they die... Oh, and speaking about religions, well, here's a list of some contradictions in the Holy Bible. And a similar list of contradictions in Quran (Koran).	Nuni, a ferocious Chihuahua!
04.04.2005   Oh my poor something-ceps. I'm talking about the muscly bits that are (supposedly. No-one's actually ever seen mine.) under the layer of blubber that is. I just came home from the gym, ravenous as I haven't eaten anything the whole day, well since lunch anyway.   It's funny, the gym... I pretty much know everyone who goes there by sight now. And let me tell you, a pretty sight it aint! It's not like your typical TV gym, with perky bouncy girls in skimpy leotards and beefed-up man-mountains in flashy workout outfits. No, this place is strictly working class. No, sorry, to say that would be insulting the working class. If you're lucky (?) you can observe the scariest, stinkiest human specimens of both sexes down in that converted bomb shelter. Yes, that's right. They've hid that place well, about 20 meters under the ground, in a bloody cold war bunker. Anyway, by now you must have the idea that I hate the place and want to see it burn. Well, that is not the case. I actually (somewhat) like it, even though (or maybe because?) it's fun and easy to make fun of the place and it's visitors. And besides, it's dead cheap.   Enough about the gym. It's weighting me down, in fact I think I should have a bit of a break. Like a day or two. I could use that time to hunt down the missing parallel cable for my new printer. An easy task, you might think... But it isn't. Not when the cable is specifically manufactured to fit only one printer, namely the BJC 50, the world's smallest bloody bubble jet printer... Curse that thing. Dad bought it bundled with a scanner, at a major sale, and it must have been the showpiece, since it missed a lot of stuff from it's box. Like that parallel cable, for instance. Sigh. The official Canon supplier in Finland told me that it's off the ordering list and is no longer manufactured. Bugger it.   Time for bed, got friggin work tomorrow. But before that, a sprinkling linkses. Naturally. Since I failed to mention the April's Fool Day in any way, here's a great link on the subject, Top 100 April's Fool Hoaxes. Oh, and somewhat in the same spirit, a music video by a wonderful band Tally Hall, called Banana Man. You can download some of their songs from their site. And if that's isn't enough, here's an awesome flash clip called Bossa Astoria. It reminds me a bit of "Reservoir Dogs" (link goes to the complete script) or a some fucked-up Noir version of "The Blues Brothers" featuring bunnies...	Gnarly.
02.04.2005   Hola, mi putas..! Here I am, enjoying the silence (well, frankly I'm listening to The Bloodhound Gang's piece called I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks) on my awesome throne, and getting mentally ready to go to gym again. I was supposed to go there in the morning with Gabi, but was way too sleepy and tired, and a little bit hung-over too... I will have to do the gym alone now. Never done that before, so I hope I won't be too bored... Or get raped in the locker room!   Yesterday was spent playing Settlers of Catan again, but this time with an addon, Cities and Knights of Catan. The addon seems to have improved the game play quite a bit, I must say! You can now build improvements in your cities, hire and upgrade knights... The upgrade also introduce commodities and progress cards, things that make the game deeper and more dynamic. So if you are playing Catan with your mates, get the "upgrade"!   Ahem. I got a bit carried away there for a second. Hey, if you think that I'm a board game geek, you're dead wrong..! I play them maybe twice a year, and I've got a somewhat "strategically challenged" mind anyway (although I did win the game yesterday! Ha!). I do, however, like the socializing and the camaraderie that comes along with those game nights. What could be better than getting together with a few mates, a lot of beer and do geeky stuff like role-playing (damn, I haven't done that in a few years...) or board-gaming? Ahh...So that's what I did yesterday. And when I came home I stayed up some more, and drank a few more beers while listening to music and absent-mindedly surfing the net... It was complete bliss, I tell you. I accidentally dozed off on the couch around 3am, though. I seem to have lost the stamina I had at 16, when I could stay up and surf till the cows came home... Or till the newspaper would come crashing through the door hatch, shattering that special kind of silence you only get at 5am, startling the hell out of me with my cock in my fist. Hey, I was 16. Whaddaya think I was looking at on the web, Dictionary.com?   In any case, its time for me to go to the gym while I still can. So let me share what I've been able to find on the net so far... Since I mentioned Settlers of Catan, here's the online version! Then an interesting flash animation that tells you how to properly greet people in different countries. And completely unrelated to anything, here's a room of some fucked-up sysadmin! Just because.	Just another lovely day in Catan...

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