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By Asmodeane in Posts

Thank God the net is back up here at the office. I was dreading coming to work today, after the torture I was forced to endure yesterday. But all proved to be fine, the intertubes were unclogged, the bits and bytes passing back and forth unobstructed. Soon the trauma of 4 hours spent bereft of the net will hopefully be forgotten, buried underneath all them lolcats and midget porn. Oh, and don’t click on that midget link. Honestly, don’t, unless you’re midget or a grizzled veteran of the interwebs, capable of watching 2 girls 1 cup without flinching. Oh shit, and for the love of God don’t click on that last one either!

 

Ball, Birdy, Bollard, Boat...

Ball, Birdy, Bollard, Boat...

Yeah, so I was supposed to write a blog update yesterday, but due to the failure of the internets I didn’t. And that’s sad, because, unlike today, I actually had an ok first-half-of-workday and had a rant all rehearsed and ready. See, I was sent to the airport to set up a technical thingamabob at this one office dealing with airport passes and biometry and shit, and it was an educational experience, an amazing anthropological journey even. The office was populated, and ran, wait for it, wait for it, exclusively by women! And they were dressed in similar uniforms, complete with stewardess scarfs and everything. It was kind of like discovering a lost tribe of amazons, except in tidy midi-skirts and wielding keyboards instead of spears. The boss was a woman, the IT guy was an IT girl, the secretary was a chick, the… Ok, you get the picture, they were all chicks, I swear! I also had to explain how to work the doodad I was installing. It was so unnerving that I broke into a sweat. I mean, they giggled at me! Brrrr. I ran.

 

Security breach! Aoo-gah! Aoo-gah!

Security breach! Aoo-gah! Aoo-gah!

Since I was still near the airport I decided to drive around an look for a good vantage point from which to indulge in a bit of planespotting and some nerdy picture taking. I heard a rumor that somewhere close to the airport there is a spot (yes, found dozens of spots on google maps afterwards) where you can park your car, lay on the bonnet and watch the planes come in, brushing your nose with their landing gear, so I tried locating that mythical place. I failed. I did, however, expose a glaring breach in airport security! There were at least two places where you could drive your explosives-ladden white Volvo onto the landing strip, and create some nice juicy headlines in the papers the following day. I include photographic evidence! And I expect SUPO to come breaking down my door and confiscate my PC by tomorrow at the latest, or I shall be very disappointed with the state of Finnish internet counter-terrorism surveillance.

 

Anyway, un, dos, tres, linko linko ses! Ok, I admit hitting rock bottom with that one. First, the Ig Nobels are in for this year! I particularly like the one in Physics, by Dorian Raymer and Douglas Smith, for proving that heaps of string or hair will inevitably tangle. Useful research, boys. Well done… And staying on the subject of science, this one gets me more excited than a schoolgirl at a dildo factory, The Space Elevator! I mean, cargoes could be lifted to orbit for fraction the cost! We would enter the Space Age proper at last! Huge friggin Star Destroyers would become reality! Mankind could colonize the solar system! Terraforming Mars! Mining for minerals in the asteroid belt! Gabbawabba! Blaargh..! Ok, gotta go have a lie down and a drink of cold water now…

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  1. Там девушка красивая в кустах лежит нагой. другой бы изнасиловал, а я лишь пнул ногой..



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