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By Asmodeane in Posts, Rants, Road trips

Phew.

She's finally up!

She's finally up!

After zooming about Finland for a week I have finally been able to stop for a while and take a breather. The encroaching winter has been giving me two causes for a major headache: boat and car. Boat because one tends to hoist the boat onto dry land for the winter in northern latitudes (provided one wants to keep on having a boat, or at least a buoyant boat) and the time for that has come a long time ago, and car because I have not been able to change my tires to the winterized variety, and with a gig to Rovaniemi, a town situated right on top of the polar circle, I was justifiably nervous. But, as attested by the poor quality photos provided, I have now done both! A huge boulder of worry has rolled off my sallow chest…

Of course, me being me, I didn’t quite take the tasks to their completion. My car is still screaming for service, now about 4000km overdue, and my boat is uncovered and her engine is still waiting for that oil change. I’m the king of half-assed measures, I am…

My girl, bottomless...

My girl, bottomless...

Anyway, I am writing this from the corner table of the “Classic Pizza Restaurant” at the Holiday Club Spa in Tampere. Yes, that’s right, I have another week-long photogig, criss-crossing Finland in my trusty black vulva. I came here from Kemi after having spent another night at the stinky murder hotel (this time my room stank of pickles, apparently there is an individual stink for every room), screaming through a blizzard with nary a thought for personal safety, about 600km of delightful zero-visibility driving. My back is shot and I have so far spent 968€ on gas this month, plus my car has started to sound funny. To add insult to injury, I managed to thoroughly embarrass myself at the shooting location today. I was supposed to take pics of a bunch of execs after they had some super important meeting, at a conference space on the sixth floor of a certain factory building. Well, I went there in time, set my studio up, and noticed that they had a very nice balcony overlooking the factory and the Bay of Bothnia beyond that. So I grab my recently-purchased D5100 and step outside, ready to capture that morning light… And the balcony door closes behind me. Closes shut, you see. And there I am, my photoshoot still about an hour away, and me dressed in a collared shirt and jeans, trapped on the sixth floor, whipped by the snow. Yay! I luckily had my phone with me, so called the state-wide phone inquiry number, and after numerous hops and connections managed to raise the gate warden of the factory, making him send someone to free me from my lofty prison… I ended up freezing my ass off for half an hour. At least I got some decent pics of the factory, and as far as I know the execs didn’t notice a thing.

Visibility - Nil

Visibility - Nil

After that gig it was time to brave the blizzard and drive 600km to Tampere. That was a shit deal, let me tell you. Zero-visibility driving is never fun, but what makes it worse is other drivers. I was roaring along at about 90km/h, well under the 100km/h limit, when suddenly I see tail-lights ahead, and barely have the time to simultaneously brake and swerve, near-missing a white Opel Insignia doing about 30 - 40km/h. I just about had the time to give him a proper honk before he dissapeared into the blizzard behind me. I instantly regretted that though, since I noticed he had some manner of foreign plates, might have even been Ukrainean. Which means no winter tires… I’d have been crawling along as well were I in his place. Whoever you were, my scaredy Opel man, I am sorry.

Anyway, I guess it’s time to test that pizza. This place was supposedly voted best pizza restaurant in Finland by some women’s mags, but what do women know about pizza, eh?

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